Title:

Well.

An eventful weekend!

Friday we went to South Carolina to pick up Josh's younger cousins, Molly and Shelby. It seemed like such a long drive. I spent the morning making lunch... only to leave it on the counter, distracted by deciding whether to read "The Odyssey" or "The Iliad". Sad, yes... - And neither. I read Edgar Allen Poe instead.
We ate BBQ at a restaurant featured on "Dirty Jobs" because there's a pig farm right behind the store. You can guess the rest... the sandwich I ate was probably fresh from that morning. Did I just here oinking? Oh, well. I'm not mean to animals, but I'm not a pig-hugger either. A pork sandwich is a pork sandwich to me - it all comes from the same place. Mmm...

We left SC at about 3am. Messy hair and barefooted, I drove to Augusta and we ate waffle house at 5:30. Soo tired... chocolate chip waffle and three cups of coffee later, we were on the road again. Drove through Atlanta traffic for the first time, then tried to go to the mall only to find (hey!) apparently, nothing but Starbuck's is open at 8 am. We had to find a bathroom though - and quick! We found one... completely dark, with the lights turned out - apparently closed malls mean dark bathrooms as well. You'd think they'd leave them on in the case of emergency! But a bathroom = a bathroom. Like pork sandwiches, right?
Josh's dad's graduation for a national-guard thingy was at 10 in Atlanta. We made it to the base alright, but there was no time to get all nice or anything. Exhausted, sweaty (it's insane hot in Atlanta, even in the morning), and in the same clothes as yesterday, we attended with the family in tow. We then stopped by Arby's, and afterwards drove our two cranky selves back to Macon for showers, TV, and sleep.
Meanwhile, back to the present, the house is crazy with the addition of two munchkins. (But this DOES mean lots of brownie-bakers!) Scary-movie marathon tomorrow and camp on Friday! Lots of schoolwork to finish before then -

I should be doing that now ...

Annabel Lee

I wanted to post something that was a favorite of mine, so here's one of my favorite poems: Annabel Lee, by Edgar Allen Poe. Poe wrote some really deep, dark poems, but this one sort of has a different feel to it than many of his others. It's deep, melancholy, yet I love how you can sense the longing and the heartbreak behind his words. Each line is filled an intense and almost - overwhelming, if you let it - emotion. I think that by reading it, you can almost feel what he feels - longing, sadness, and yet great love. I think it is extremely sad but even more so incredibly beautiful.

Annabel Lee

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me-
Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

A Revelation!

The other day I was shopping with Mamabird and Marleigh. Now I don't care too much for shopping, and I made this pretty clear after the 3-hours-in-WalMart line was crossed. Needless to say, I got pretty darn cranky. Not really in a mean way or anything, just in my own way. When we got home, Laurie (Mamabird - Josh's mom) called it to my attention that I have hypoglycemia. Anyways, I found this really interesting and looked it up - and I think she's right on. For those of you unfamiliar with this term, I'll sum it up as simple as I can. I don't know too terribly much about it, but from what I do know, people with hypoglycemia have abnormally low levels of glucose - or sugar - in their blood. To top it off, this level of sugar in the blood is usually affected by what and when you eat. When you don't eat, your blood sugar levels get very low. Hypoglycemia can cause different symptoms in anyone, depending on the person that has it. It can cause weakness, shaky hands, cold hands and feet, and - bingo - crankiness, irritability, and affect emotions and mood swings. The description fits me well. A lot of times, my emotions and moods will change for what I once took for no reason at all - I just saw myself as perhaps an unusually overemotional person. For example, sometimes I'd get in a bad mood - and I'd KNOW I'm in one, and I wouldn't WANT to be, but I just couldn't help it. It's like I had to be. It really confused and upset me at times. I didn't know what was wrong with me. So, after mamabird called it to attention, I thought about it and I began watching myself after that, self-observing my moods before and after eating. My conclusion? A very possible hypoglycemic! It might also explain the reason why my hands and feet are cold pretty much all the time - even in the middle of summer. Without eating every few hours or so, I'll begin to feel cranky, lightheaded and weak, and usually have to sit down. But right after eating I can notice an immediate change in my mood, feeling better and stronger and much more improved than before.
I think my possibility of having hypoglycemia explains a lot about me. It really put things into perspective. Without even looking for an answer, I might very well have found one through someone's observation. At first I was upset to learn this news, but now that I have, I'm kind of glad about it, really. I feel far more in-control of myself, and I understand myself maybe just a little better. I don't have to wonder so much about why my moods can be like they are at times - I actually have an explanation! I don't seek to use hypoglycemia as an excuse for how I act. I'm just glad to feel more in charge and know how to avoid things like that in the future. Hopefully I can improve myself now - that's my goal. I don't have to be stuck forever wondering what on Earth is wrong with me. Plus, here's a funny thing - Josh has hypoglycemia too. So hey, at least we match, right?
Yours - Lacy.

Here...

Hi! Today was a wonderfully simple day. Woke up at 9:30, fell back asleep, and slept in until 11. Got up and made french toast for Oshiebird, then cleaned and made chocolate chip cookies, because Mamabird has been begging me to make them for the past few days. I'd enjoy no peace otherwise! It's official, I'm famous up in Georgia for my cookie-making now. Working on my schoolwork continuously. All full from dinner, happy and in comfy pants. Life is lovely.

I'm looking forward to VSO - I do every year. I had a hard time deciding if I wanted to go this year. $550 is a lot of money. But it's honestly worth it - I've met the most amazing people there, and have the most amazing times. Those memories I'll carry with me always. Also, how can I forget? It's where I first met Joshua - that in itself makes it more worth it than anything. It's nice to get away from life for a while, even if it's just for a week each year. That week is heaven to me. Wonderful friends, good food, great times, funny quotes, exciting challenges. Hiking through the Appalachians, campfires, the annual reading of the camp quotes, which I, as the camp scribe, dutifully take down. Canoe wars, cliff diving, I'm a Little Piece of Tin, excessive daddy longlegs (wait, I don't miss that!) wall signing, pride rock, and the only time of year when we can get away with calling Mr. Phillips "Mufasa".

Goodess! I can't wait.

Anyways, I'll leave you for now - til later.

Dreams

So much for waking up early! I just woke up a little while ago. Maybe I'll compel myself to go running in the morning... tomorrow...

Last night I had such weird dreams! Usually I don't remember my dreams, but these ones just seemed to go on and on about everything, from college to guys to cities, old teachers in my past, etc. They were so VIVID, they're practically embedded in my mind.

I was sitting in a class taught by my old middle school geography teacher, but at college. I had been told I was going to be withdrawn from it, so I didn't study or do homework or anything, but then I wasn't withdrawn, and no one believed me.

Then I ran through the school halls. Suddenly, it was the last day of school, but I had no way home.

Anyways, still recovering from the air of strange-ness, I suppose. (Haven't you ever woken up, your dreams of the night having an air of strangeness about them? It carries over, seems to envelop you with their air. Well then, there's always that possibility that maybe it's just me.) Regardless, just waking up to watching TV, attempting to bring myself back to normalcy. That's where I'm supposed to want to be, right?

I have to confess, I really have no idea what to write on this blog. I don't know what you're expecting to read if you come across this page, if you find yourself here, perhaps with some kind of question in expectation of answers. I'm just writing what comes into my head. It might be funny one moment, serious the next - I guess to me it's just a way to get out what's on my mind. We all need that sometimes. Maybe you will find answers here - we always find answers in the strangest places, often when we're not even looking for them. Sometimes, when I can't find something, I stop looking for it. A little while later, I'll end up coming across it. Reverse psychology?

Now on to a subject that just did me the favor of popping into my head. (To save me from having to do schoolwork, of course! Oh, the joys of summer online class ten-page essays. NOT).

For those of you reading this, and bear with me, this might all turn out long in the end (go ahead and speed read if you must, I do it to you too). But I digress - those of you reading this, well, this is MY blog, but chances are you don't really know me very well. That sounds cliche, doesn't it - the typical "No one knows who I really am!" But let's look past the cliche for a sec. Give me that benefit of the doubt. If you asked me to describe myself in a few words, it would take me a while - even I have a hard time figuring me out. Quiet, INTROSPECTIVE, always thinking, head-in-the-clouds. There's things, events, times that make us all the people who we are. I have those too - parts of life that rarely I divulge to the public.

Is there a difference between us all?

A line between the ignorant and the ignorant-less?

What makes us so - are me made this way from the beginning, or do we become this way?

And because of what we have learned, we mature quicker for our age than most people ever do.

Ask me sometime - I'm willing to tell.

First Post

My first post on a blog, ever! Starting this was a very spur-of-the-moment idea. Why not? Well, seeing as I've just started, doesn't seem like the time to get into anything too terribly deep. Up spending time in Macon, chilling out watching TV and doing homework. (Sort of - I'd say I've gotten a bit distracted). Last night I didn't sleep much, but then again, I slept a ton yesterday. It evens itself out. What I like about here is how you never know what'll happen each day. Well, you never really know anywhere, but here is far more unpredictable than back in Florida. It'd be a lie to say I liked it better there - wish I didn't have to go back. Oh well, maybe someday.

Hasn't it ever amazed you how quickly time goes by? Here I am, thinking of that, thinking of everything - Joshua's eventual deployment, the summer flying by, life up to this point having passed so quickly. I wish Joshua didn't have to go, but at the same time I know that he has to and it is a good opportunity for him. He'll be happy in that kind of lifestyle, and it's not like we won't be able to talk. Technology makes that pretty darn easy these days. But that's not to say I won't miss his actual company and presence - it's never the same. But I comfort myself with knowing it's not for forever... and I should be looking forward to the rest of our lives after that.

Well, that's what's on my mind right now. I'll leave it at that til I write more on here later.