Summer Sugars

I've been really, really good this week.

Keeping my blood sugars good over the summer has been a challenge - (repetition from last year, anyone?) - and while they aren't at crazy high levels, they've been higher than I like. 180's. 200's, 242's... a few 300's in there thankfully not too often. (Thanks, Recees Puffs). I've always been really strict with my diet since getting Diabetes - I'm a big believer in early prevention. It's never to early for me to try and prevent complications. I was strict with my diet even before getting Diabetes, believing that what you put in your body truly does make a difference. And it does - my sugars attest to this. Sure, I might be the weird girl that eats salads and meats sans sugary, questionable sauces at college all of the time, but I know that the benefits of eating well are truly worth it. Plus, it really just feels good to put good things in your body. I lose my taste for greasy, carb-heavy foods and sweet desserts after I go without them for a while. It's just that all of the vacations, seeing friends and families, parties... have really done me in. It's difficult to eat well at parties, unfamiliar restaurants, fast food joints on the go and Princess parties where moms think it is nice to feed the princess!

It's hard to be a Diabetic in non-Diabetic surroundings sometimes - It's one of the hardest things about my disease. People around me eat whatever they want without thinking of it - ordering pizza or a quick stop at McDonalds is no big deal when your pancreas actually works.  It's hard for me, though, because not only do I have to count all of those carbs, after a while of eating badly my blood sugars tend to get harder to manage.  Plus there can be the added pressure of weird looks, or judgmental people who maybe don't know that I'm Diabetic or don't know what that entails - eating hamburgers without the patty at parties may come off as strange to some, as might leaving out the taco shell and making a taco salad instead. People look at my plate questioningly, wondering why my portion is half the size of their own, or why I always have to make a point to ask if the tea is sweet (then again I needn't ask in Georgia - of course it is!) It's not meant to be an insult to someone's cooking or something snooty on my part, it's just what I have to do.

So this week I strapped down, put on my big-girl Diabetic shoes and really started watching my levels. It helps that Joshua has started eating a low-carb diet this week, which has been helpful in encouraging me. It's not so bad when you're not the only one that strictly adheres to a carefully carb-counted diet. In fact, it helps quite a lot, actually - Joshua not eating high carb foods and getting on me for snacking or eating things bad for my blood sugar keeps me eating well and mindful of what I put in my body. Josh actually eats less carbs than me, so with me eating more carbs than him I almost feel like he's the Diabetic one instead of myself!

My hard work has paid off. My sugars haven't reached over 180 all week! It's only Tuesday, but I'm feeling hopeful. Lots of chicken, salad and eggs and no eating out have brought me some great results, and hopefully these good-behaving sugars will be a sign of a great A1C to come.

Not So Invisible After All

Last Wednesday was a big job at Turner Field for Delta Day. I was out in the hot sun (under a tent, but it was still hot and bright nonetheless) face painting baseballs and Yankees signs and Braves "A"'s. I packed a snack with me to last through the day, and an emergency low snack, and kept my meter in the shade in the cool. My Novolog was placed in front of me, clipped to my little plastic paintbrush cup. It looked like a pen, and everyone that came to get their faces painted said nothing about it. Of course not - nobody knew about my Diabetes here, or what the strange drug Novolog was, or that I had to take special care to watch my sugar all day today.

A woman who looked to be in her 20's sat down in front of me. It was her Birthday, she told me, and she was getting "Braves" painted on one cheek and "Happy Birthday" on the other. I set to work, dipping my brush in the water, then in the paint, letting my hands take over the repetitive motion of the same design I'd painted on 200 faces before hers.

She glanced to her right. "Are you Diabetic?" She asked, to my surprise. It took me a moment to catch what she had said - even I had forgotten the little pen, which sat to my left out of my line of sight. "Yes, I am," I replied, now glancing at the pen. "I thought so," she told me. "I'm a nurse. I know all about those kind of things," she winked at me.

I smiled a little. Sometimes, it's nice to feel that your invisible illness isn't so invisible after all.

And The Score Is... Diabetes: 1 Lacy: 0

The Kuckuck family (and friends) have a new adventure this Summer, and that is to keep Lucas Murphy, our visiting friend, entertained!

With that said, we took the opportunity this Tuesday to go hiking up in Jackson at Dauset Trails and High Falls. We headed out to High Falls first, packing all 6 of us into my truck (it was a tight fit). We blared Ke$ha and Mike Sparrow on the way, driving through back country roads that must have been hardly even a thought on the map. When we reached Dauset Trails, we were greeted by well-manicured lawns and beautiful forested acreage winding through tiny creeks, spacious ponds and colorful flower gardens. It was a beautiful sight! We found parking in the shade and walked over a covered bridge to the Guest Center, signed in, then went off to see the animals. I'd packed a few snacks just in case of a low for the trail - one of those cute little peach flavored Buddy Fruits that Kelle had gotten for me in Auburn (she'd raved about them and said I had to try one) and cereal. Except the cereal wasn't exactly a snack for a low, more of just a snack for enjoyment... I knew cereal was bad for my blood sugar, but they were Recees Puffs, and I'd always had a weakness for those! I munched on Recees Puffs as we walked past the animal cages, gazing at owls with big wide eyes, cougars, bears, racoons, bison and more. I gave some Recees Puffs to a couple of baby geese as a peace offering and got to pet them in exchange for the treat (much to the protests of the mother geese watching over them). I took this time to check my blood sugar under a shady picnic table, and frowned in dismay when I learned that my blood sugar was 403 - apparently, I'd been eating way more cereal then I'd thought. In rage I dialed in 6 units of Novolog (1 unit for ever 50 mg/dL I want to bring down). This turned out to be a mistake....

We walked around some more and then packed ourselves back into the car and drove onwards down little High Falls Road to High Falls. Once there, we all grabbed a water bottle and walked across the road to the trail head. I loved it here. Joshua and I had visited for Valentine's Day one year, and it had been one of my favorite dates. I've always had a fond spot for nature, and I loved the opportunity that living in Georgia gave me to hike through such beautiful landscapes. Rocky outcroppings, huge boulders and hiking trails shaded by thick canopies of green, all bordered by the rushing noise of the river right next to where we walked enveloped me in a serene state of mind. I felt as if I could go on walking forever.

We did walk for a long time. We climbed up rocks, took photos next to the waterfall (hence the name High Falls), and walked over wooden bridges. It felt like Summer camp 4 years ago, up in North Carolina where Joshua and I had met for the first time. This was bliss.

We stopped at a group of huge boulders, which everyone climbed up to take more photos. I planned on going up but stopped, noting my hummingbird heartbeat and clammy, shaking hands. I sighed and dropped to my knees, pulling my meter out of my bag, not panicking as I knew I still had my snack in my bag. I tested. 50.

Crap, I thought. I'd given myself too much insulin. "You should have asked me," Josh said. He was right - I should have. Josh doesn't have Diabetes but I sometimes asked him for advice on how much insulin I should give myself - his more logical side makes him a very good advice giver when it comes to what is and isn't a practical bolus. Sometimes I get so caught up in the numbers that I forgot to think, "Hey, I shouldn't give myself this much insulin because I'm about to go run a marathon." Hence where Joshua comes in. My ratio being 1u/50mgdL, I gave myself 6 units which would have been perfect under normal conditions. If I'd have asked Joshua, he could have stopped me and pointed out that we were hiking up hills and what might has well been similar to mountains. I should have given myself 5, probably 4. I would have walked off the rest of the high. But I had been mad at the 400 and just wanted it to go down. Stupid. I sat on a rock, feeling poorly now, and ate my Buddy Fruit (thanks Kelle - you saved my life!)  I rested for a bit before pressing on at full speed ahead, determined to show Diabetes that it didn't stop me or hold me back in anyway.

I could have (and wanted to) go further, but everyone else voted to turn around and Josh pointed out that if I got low it wouldn't be the most fun experience for him to have to carry me back. So we turned back and walked to the beginning of the trail head. I felt fine for most of the trip, but at the very end going up the wooden stairs I could hardly make it up. I flashbacked to all those years of gymnastics, where my muscles used to get so fatigued after constant conditioning that it felt as if I could hardly move them anymore. I felt like that now. It was hard to command my legs to move. We made it back to the car. The world was buzzing. I tested. 49. I was spinning. My breaths came out in shallow little gasps. My tongue felt heavy and thick and speaking was difficult. My heart raced, and I could hardly move my arms and legs. They felt like 200 lbs each. I sat in the car and we drove and stopped at a gas station. Joshua went in and got me snacks and an Italian Ice. I ate, but it took me a long time to feel better and work off the low. I was drenched in sweat, my back cold. We stopped for pizza in Barnesville on the way home, and finally made it back. My blood sugar was 310 now. I sighed. Could I ever win, or would my blood sugar always be a battle between one extreme or the other? It frustrated me. So much rested on my success or failure in managing my Diabetes - my future health wasn't something I wanted to play around with, but at times it seemed like Diabetes just liked to play around with me.

I hate the roller coaster that my blood sugar can be sometimes. It just plain sucks. I guess Diabetes had gotten the best of me this time. Next time, though, I'm determined to have the upper hand...

"I Need Some Sugar! Do You Have Any Sugar?"

It was an all-weekend trip for work to Columbus, where I had three jobs lined up on Friday and Saturday. I'd visited Ft. Benning (the site of my first job) and visited my friend Crystal from Wesleyan afterwards. I stayed the night with Crystal Friday, having a great time with her and her family, being treated to Teriyaki Salad, doing facials, and watching movies that we actually got from a real-life Blockbuster (they still exist!) In the morning, we slept in and then had a delicious breakfast before I got ready for work. All in all, I'd had a fantastic time. It was so nice to get to see someone from school over the summer. I actually did miss Wesleyan a lot more than I thought I would! I can't wait to start back in the fall.

After leaving Crystal's and on my way to my first Saturday job, Kelle, who lives in Auburn - only about 30 mins. away from Columbus - called. We'd talked about me going to visit her but had failed to really make any plans. I answered the phone. "Hey! Did you say you were coming today or tomorrow?" Kelle's familiar voice asked. I hadn't planned yet on coming either... but jumped at the opportunity! It wasn't everyday that I got to see my best friend, who had moved from Florida to a little town in North Carolina when we were in freshman year of High School. The last time I had seen Kelle was last year, during my infamous sleepover when I got diagnosed with Diabetes (mentioned here as one of my friends). I'd been laying in a heap on the floor back then, so it hadn't the most pleasant of goodbyes. Kelle and I made plans over the phone. "But, I won't be there until about 5 or 5:30," I told her. "That's about 4:30 here", she replied. I hadn't even known I'd be switching time zones! I thought it cool that I'd gain back an extra hour of my day.

I finished both of my parties, tired and exhausted but ready to go see Kelle. I plugged in her address into the GPS and set off through Columbus. I'd been through downtown once before but never realized how close I was to Alabama (it had been dark at the time). Now I crossed over a bridge with a beautiful view of the river below and was greeted by a sign that welcomed me to Phenix City, Alabama.

I drove on towards Highway 280 West, and stopped at a gas station to refill, change out of my Cinderella dress, and get a Diet Root Beer. Gas was $3.18, which seemed like a good deal to me. It was a while before I reached 85 and began to travel past Opelika and reach Auburn. Gas here was as low as $3.06! I felt robbed! I got off the exit, excited to reach my destination. I reached the correct apartments and gave Kelle a call to see where I should park. I found visitor parking and that's where my truck came to rest. I took a moment to test, having not had time to eat anything at all today in between my parties. 62, and I knew I'd fall fast if I didn't get anything to eat soon. But I got out of the car, grabbing my purse, and heard that oh-so familiar voice. "Did you get taller again?" My beautiful friend strode over, wearing a strapless dress and boots. I hugged her elatedly. "Everyone always says that, but I don't think so!" I told her. (It was true, everyone always did think I was taller when they hadn't seen me for a while, but my actual height had yet to prove this to be true).

We walked up a flight of stairs to the second-floor landing and entered her apartment. Kelle's fiance, Jeff, was there (I couldn't even remember the last time I'd seen Jeff, who had gone to school with me back in Freshman year at Smith Prep). Kelle, who lived in North Carolina at the time, had come down to visit me and I'd thought that Jeff would make good company for us as we hung out at the mall. Matchmaking win.

Jeff and his roommate went off to watch the UFC fight at Buffalo Wild Wings, so after I got some food from Kelle to stave off my low, Kelle and I decided to do some shopping for dinner at Publix. While it had been 5:30 when I had left for Auburn, it was about 5:20 now that I was actually here. Time traveling! We reached the Publix, which was decorated in the front entryway with Auburn paintings. I could tell that the town had a lot of team spirit! We browsed through all of the aisles, everyone stopping to say hello to Kelle, who worked there. We got some vegetables, meat, and decided on a yummy looking pair of steaks for $10, potatoes, and grilled zucchini and squash for dinner. We checked out and Kelle took me driving through Auburn to see the sights. It was gorgeous! Auburn was like a city. There was just so much of... everything! Tiger pawprints sat right in the middle of the road, painted in orange, and led us to campus. I saw the dorms, the huge stadium, and all of the beautiful brick architecture. With the exception that Auburn dwarfed my little school, the brick buildings made me reminisce of Wesleyan's own rich history and beautiful buildings.

We reached the apartments again and both took in as many groceries as we could hold so as to not have to make a second trip. We put things away, then took out all of the veggies and sliced them up, putting them on a frying pan to grill with seasoning. We put the potatoes on a low boil, and when we finished the vegetables went down to the pool to grill our steaks. It was chilly after the rain - much colder than I'd anticipated - and I huddled next to the grill fire for warmth. We made it back to the apartment, finished all of the other food, and sat down to eat on the sofa in front of Aladdin, which was playing on the TV. It was a delicious dinner, and I was ravenous. I didn't bolus a bit, and by the time I fell asleep that night, I felt fine but had forgotten to check my blood sugar before bed.

The next morning I woke up to mom calling me at 9:15 (eastern time). It was 8:15 here. I answered the phone groggily. "Mom, it's 8:15 here!" "Oh! Sorry," she told me. "I just wanted to call and make sure you made it all right. And tell Kelle to call her mom, she's worried about the shootings last night." Shootings? "I'll tell her," I told mom. "We're all fine. Love you. Bye!" Kelle rolled over. "Call your mom", I said. "Apparently there were two shootings here last night!" We sat in the bed, talking, after Jeff had filled us in from the other room about what had happened. Two football players and one other person had been shot and killed - quite close to the apartment complexes we were at, actually. It had made National News. Kelle and I continued to talk through the morning, but soon the familiar shaky feeling came over me and I pushed it away like a bad thought.

After a time it had become hard to ignore, though, and I sat up quickly. "I really need to check my blood sugar," I said, walking into the kitchen where my meter was. 10 seconds later, I had my result: a solemn 50 staring at me from the screen. "Do you have any sugar?" I yelled to Jeff and Kelle. "I really need some. Any that you have." Kelle looked at me confusedly. "Sugar?" She asked. Jeff came out into the kitchen, the same puzzled look on his face. "Umm..." He opened the pantry door and rummaged around for a moment. A few seconds later he emerged, holding a white bag in his hands. It was a bag of sugar! "You actually eat straight sugar?" I stared between him and Kelle for a second and laughed. "No! Of course not!" I laughed a second time. I was unused to being around people who didn't know my Diabetic habits. Jeff seemed relieved as he put the sugar back into the pantry. I went on to explain, "Saying "sugar" is just out of habit for me. I really just mean anything with carbs - just check the back of nutrition labels. Something over 15 grams of carbs is good for a low." Jeff ended up grabbing some Italian Ice out of the fridge for me - I took it back to Kelle's room and ate it. It was much more delicious than eating sugar! Soon enough, I felt much better.

We spent the whole day shopping at the boutiques in downtown Auburn. They were adorable! Handmade jewelry, designer dresses, local artists, and all of the Auburn paraphernalia you could possibly imagine... I was in love. The sights and smells were new and unique to me. Kelle and I sat in one shop for at least an hour, trying to decide which jewelry we liked the best. I finally decided on a pair of pretty blue feather earrings - I'd always wanted some - and some pretty blue and green earrings with gold dreamcatcher feathers hanging on the bottom.


It was fantastic! I had such a good time I could hardly believe it. It seemed like it had been ages since I had gone shopping with a friend. Not just to find stuff to buy, but to have an experience - bonding and just simply having girl time together with a childhood best friend. My heart was happy. It began pouring as we headed to a shopping center called Tiger Town to browse, so we made our way back through the downpour in the car carefully. We were starved! Kelle and I (Kelle cooked - mostly I sat and watched) browned some meat in a pan and cooked up a fajita salad. I felt like my friends were really treating me this weekend to low-carb meals! The salad was delicious. We sat and talked a while longer, and I had a cup of coffee before my long two-hour trip back to Forsyth. Kelle soon had to leave for work, and as she got ready in her Publix Uniform I did a quick run-through to make sure I had all of my stuff.

5:15 PM (central time). It was time to leave. We walked down to the parking lot, where our vehicles were parked next to each other. The sun had begun to come out. Gosh, I was bad at goodbyes. We stared at each other, two girls who had known each other for years. I hadn't seen Kelle in over a year, but in between the time that had elapsed from then and now, it felt like not a single thing had changed. Our lives had changed, but not us. We had so much history together that I began to believe that we'd probably always be best friends. We gave each other long hugs, and I smiled at Kelle. "See you soon," I said, shutting the door to the truck.








The time had passed too quickly, but the memories that the last weekend had given me would last a lifetime.

"You're Counting Calories? That's Not Allowed In Here!"

"I'm leaving in one hour, so if you're coming, be ready by then!" I told Joshua as we sat on the couch watching Lie To Me on Netflix. I had a princess party booking to attend in Alpharetta, Georgia, and thought it would be fun if Joshua tagged along and we went on an adventure afterwards. Atlanta has always intrigued me, but as much as I have passed it by on the weekends I have never stopped to explore, being intimidated at the thought of walking around the huge city alone. Josh got ready, and in an hour we were on the road.

Thanks to Josh's driving, we were almost an hour early, so we decided to get some lunch. I was from Orlando which, as most of you know, is not a small town. Josh was amazed by the sheer size and volume of businesses there. Every inch of the place seemed crawling with life - one street in Alpharetta had more restaurants than the entire city of Forysth, GA! We hadn't had Steak 'N Shake in a long time (I hadn't been there since my High School Days - oooh, so long ago, I know), so we decided on there. I grabbed my carb counting book out of the side door and brought it in with me. I was in a bright pink and green Barbie dress, so thought nothing of the book - if anyone would comment on anything, it'd be the dress! However... Josh opened the door for me. I walked inside the cool, familiar restaurant and began nonchalantly flipping through my book. A man stood behind the counter and it wasn't until a few seconds later that he and everyone seated at the front benches started laughing at me. "You're counting calories? Ha! That book isn't allowed here!" He started to ridicule me. My cheeks grew red and I could feel my ears growing warm. I snapped, "I'm not counting calories, I'm counting carbs because I'm diabetic." It was silly, but I was angry as I sat down, the crowd at the front quieting around me.

I finished my party as princess Barbie 2 hours later, Josh helping me to pack up. My customer handed us two big slices of cake (which neither of us planned on eating) and we drove off. Okay, I might have licked off some of the frosting... or all of it! Traffic was awful. It was nearly 4:30, and rush hour traffic was beginning to congest the highways. I was excited to get to Atlanta, but being stuck in traffic was a big pet peeve of mine. I hated the feeling of sitting in traffic, going nowhere! Josh and I blasted music and kept the AC on high. It was hot, and I wanted to cool down.

We finally made it. As the skyscrapers of Atlanta began to tower over us, we exited 75 and drove straight into downtown. And the traffic was...even more awful. We must have driven around for an hour before accidentally driving into a parking garage, in my big truck, with a 7 ft clearance. My truck must have been 6 3/4 ft tall! We laughed and laughed - and cringed - as we carefully eased ourselves out of the garage.After about 30 more minutes, finally, we celebrated on finding a place to park for $5!

Elated, we grabbed what we needed and locked up the truck, making sure to hide any valuables. Where to go first...?

Everything seemed new and exciting and interesting. Mid-town Atlanta was no New York City, but the city had always held an intrigue for me that nowhere else ever had. The feel of the city, the flow, the hustle and bustle of life and sheer volume of everything - how amazing! My senses came alive as I smelled good food, heard traffic and voices and music, and saw flashing lights, towering building, glimpses of gardens and sky, traffic everywhere - there was a spring to my step as I gripped Joshua's hand and we walked together wherever we wanted.

We stopped at a quiet Starbucks in an even more quiet office building. It was after hours - all the workmen had gone home by now - and we were one of the few customers in the store. Joshua ordered a Java Chip Frappe and I, watching my blood sugar, ordered a light mocha frappe - sans whipped cream, which was pretty difficult for me. When our frappes cam out I gave mine a try - it tasted good but definitely had a stronger soy taste to it than I remember in any of the normal frappes. Oh well.... at least I was healthy, right? I took out my insulin and bolused for the milkshake-coffee. I had to guess, seeing as carrying my book around Atlanta would have just added another thing to have to carry.

After Starbucks, we found ourselves in a beautiful neighborhood - the landscaping in front of the grand houses more impressive than most themeparks I had ever seen (of which there are several). We walked through a quiet park with a small pond, weaving our way through the trees and up a mulch hill before circling back towards the city again. We passed by churches, homeless men, and even went inside the towering Bank of America building. The lobby was closed, but the security guard allowed us in for a little while to look. We had walked over 15 blocks to get there!

It was beginning to get dark on the way back. It was past 8, and we didn't want to be stuck in the city at night. We walked the long way back from 2nd street to 14th street, passing crowds and the impressive Fox Theatre, filled with life as people rushed in for a show that night.

The world swam a little. I swallowed. "Can I have my meter? I want to check my blood sugar now," I told Joshua, staring at the sky, trying to steady myself and determine if I was low. "Right now?" Josh asked. "Isn't it a weird time to test?" "I think I'm low," I told him, continuing to walk. He held my meter and placed a test strip in so that all I had to do was prick my finger and draw blood. The task, once daunting, had become rudimentary, and I did it quickly, placing my finger on the strip for... goodness knows how many times it had been by now.

The meter read 53. I remembered I'd kept the same pack of gummies in my purse for at least a month now, and although crushed, I pulled them out now and scarfed them down, glad for them as we walked through the big city. It could be scary, being in a strange place and feeling low.

We made it back to the car. My feet were rubbed raw, and we could both feel blisters coming on. It felt as if we had spent the whole day walking through Disney!

We started the car and drove on through the city, wandering past old buildings, hotels and underground Atlanta as we made our way back to the Interstate. We stopped in McDonough on the trip back, the only one's in the restaraunt eating Zaxby's as the world began to wind down around us. I tested my blood sugar and bolused - all routine now- and then we started on the long trip home after we had finished our meals. My heart was full of happiness and my eyes all the more traveled for counting all of the new sights - not calories - that I had seen that afternoon. It had been a marvelous adventure. By the time we made it home, we had exhausted our energy - I slept well that night.