Last night I had such weird dreams! Usually I don't remember my dreams, but these ones just seemed to go on and on about everything, from college to guys to cities, old teachers in my past, etc. They were so VIVID, they're practically embedded in my mind.
I was sitting in a class taught by my old middle school geography teacher, but at college. I had been told I was going to be withdrawn from it, so I didn't study or do homework or anything, but then I wasn't withdrawn, and no one believed me.
Then I ran through the school halls. Suddenly, it was the last day of school, but I had no way home.
Anyways, still recovering from the air of strange-ness, I suppose. (Haven't you ever woken up, your dreams of the night having an air of strangeness about them? It carries over, seems to envelop you with their air. Well then, there's always that possibility that maybe it's just me.) Regardless, just waking up to watching TV, attempting to bring myself back to normalcy. That's where I'm supposed to want to be, right?
I have to confess, I really have no idea what to write on this blog. I don't know what you're expecting to read if you come across this page, if you find yourself here, perhaps with some kind of question in expectation of answers. I'm just writing what comes into my head. It might be funny one moment, serious the next - I guess to me it's just a way to get out what's on my mind. We all need that sometimes. Maybe you will find answers here - we always find answers in the strangest places, often when we're not even looking for them. Sometimes, when I can't find something, I stop looking for it. A little while later, I'll end up coming across it. Reverse psychology?
Now on to a subject that just did me the favor of popping into my head. (To save me from having to do schoolwork, of course! Oh, the joys of summer online class ten-page essays. NOT).
For those of you reading this, and bear with me, this might all turn out long in the end (go ahead and speed read if you must, I do it to you too). But I digress - those of you reading this, well, this is MY blog, but chances are you don't really know me very well. That sounds cliche, doesn't it - the typical "No one knows who I really am!" But let's look past the cliche for a sec. Give me that benefit of the doubt. If you asked me to describe myself in a few words, it would take me a while - even I have a hard time figuring me out. Quiet, INTROSPECTIVE, always thinking, head-in-the-clouds. There's things, events, times that make us all the people who we are. I have those too - parts of life that rarely I divulge to the public.
Is there a difference between us all?
A line between the ignorant and the ignorant-less?
What makes us so - are me made this way from the beginning, or do we become this way?
And because of what we have learned, we mature quicker for our age than most people ever do.
Ask me sometime - I'm willing to tell.
dear laces,
ReplyDeleteno idea whatsoever how exactly i wound up here at almost two am on a tuesday morning, but...you've been on my mind recently, because whenever i see erica or emily or other VSO-and-smith-ers you are missing from our group & i notice it quite a bit.
i really liked what you wrote about "even i have a hard time figuring me out sometimes" -that be true.
also something i don't suppose i ever got to say properly, about the vague occurences that did kind of put a rift between us (when josh thought i didn't like him, & all that junk)
i'm so so so sorry. selfishness is so gross, & being a Christian frees us from being slaves to ourselves, & i wasn't living in that freedom then. it's still a fight to, yeh. but Jesus is incredibly faithful. 'mazing.
wells hope you read this sometimes. *you are loved & will never be the same again*
also congrats on finding true love - i really do approve! best of luck.
love,
em
p.s. of course he kills people...