Herbal Incense

Well, 4 months of long and wonderful Summer have culminated down to this: Wesleyan Move-In week.
Being the procrastinator I am, I waited until the week of move-in to get that mandatory physical done for school.

June

Mom: "Have you got that physical done yet?"
Me: "Mom, jeez, it's a small town. I can just walk in any time if I want to."

July

Mom: "So... did you book that physical yet????"
Me: "No. Come on, I still have plenty of time until school starts."

August

Mom: "GET YOUR *ooh shiney* PHYSICAL."
Me: "OKAY"

So finally I booked an appointment 2 weeks ago and then went on my merry way.
Tuesday I drove 12 miles out to Barnesville, GA to go to the Doctor's office. I arrived at a pretty two story Victorian home sitting in the middle of a classically southern downtown. With plenty of time to spare, I filled out my paperwork, and settled down to wait with a new book to read in hand.

"Lacy?" A nurse pokes her head out of the office door.
I turn my head. "So, since you're under 17... I can't give you this physical."
Fire shoots out of my eyes.
"I'm two months away from being 18. I just need someone to sign the paper, and my mother does not have an issue with me getting this physical."
"Well, I'm sorry. Unless she is here with you, I legally cannot do anything for you."
"My mom is in Florida."
"You moved here all by yourself?"
"Well yeah..... I'm going to college this week.... And moving in, unless I can't get this physical, in which case I will not be and that will be a problem."
"The only thing that you could do is get an adult to come with you, and then get your mom on the phone saying that she is authorizing temporary guardianship to them during the duration of your appointment."
Is it just me or does the ENTIRE MEDICAL SYSTEM derive joy from making my life difficult?
I sigh, frustrated. "Alright then... I'll be back."

I step outside and whip out my cell phone in a flash, dialing Laurie Kuckuck's number. The phone dials and she picks up. "Hey mamabird... problem. THE DOCTOR SAID I CAN'T GET MY PHYSICAL AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO AND---AND--- SHE SAID I NEED AN ADULT TO COME WITH ME OR ELSE I CAN'T GET IT AND---"
"Come pick me up, I'll go with you."
I sigh in relief and tell her I'll be there in a moment. 15 miles later and a pit stop by the house to remove the massive computer sitting in a bin on the passenger seat, I arrive at Heritage Healthcare, pick up the Mamabird and then drive another 12 miles back to Barnesville. Mileage for the day: 45. Not even 10am yet, my hulking V8 truck's gas gauge protests by deciding not to work ... it absolutely refused to stay on "Full".
We arrive back at the Doctor's and thankfully it was rather simple from there. Sign paperwork, get my mom on the phone, and go to the back where I got my physical done. Everything seems to be healthy with me with the exception of my chronic and life-threatening disease. I pay my $30 and am just relieved to have everything over with.

Mamabird and I decide to take a look around Barnesville to check out houses and Gordon College. (No, I've never heard of it, either.) Jake is planning on attending Gordon in the Spring and wants to see about renting a house in the area instead of staying in the dorms.
We are surprisingly successful. Within a few minutes we're on the phone with a man who introduced himself as Dan and directs us to the correct address of his 5 bedroom rental home.
The house doesn't exactly lack curb appeal but the grey duplex certainly wasn't the fully renovated Victorian located on the other side of the street, which maybe made it look a little bit more shabby than it was. However, after viewing the kitchen, the living room with the blue carpet, and the upstairs bedroom with the magenta carpet that the man was renting out for $550 a month, I was pretty convinced that the only redeeming feature of the house was the fact that it was not a cardboard box. However, at least a cardboard box would have smelled like cardboard instead of smelling like old. Yes, old.
Maybe I was just being picky... honestly the house wasn't that bad. Laurie and I were just convinced that the price was entirely too high, as he charged rental per room. We stepped into another crowded room and I glanced down at the coffee table, where I noticed some suspicious looking bags filled with green plants. Is that Marijuana?? I though questioningly. Dan then mentioned that he owned another house in Barnesville which he would rent out for $450 a month. The entire house. Mamabird looked at each other as we drove across the street, following Dan to the next house. "He's renting out the entire house for $450?" Laurie exclaims. "Oh dear God, if he's renting out single rooms for more than that then I'm scared outta my mind to see this house," I retort. We cross the railroad tracks. "Oh this is not good... we've crossed the tracks!" Laurie notes.
For future reference, in case you were wondering, no. The grass is not greener on the other side of the railroad tracks.
We pulled up to a navy blue house. "Is that it?" I asked. "Ugh..." It wasn't a very nice house.
Curveball.
Dan's truck pulls past the navy blue house with the pimped out station wagon in the back, and up to a dinky tan house right behind it.
Laurie and I exchange worried looks.
We step up the cracked concrete steps, and past the painted plywood outdoor walls to the inside. It smells musty.
"I'm in the process of putting new appliances in the kitchen," Dan says.
He shows us the bedrooms, which actually, given the house, were a decent size. I wouldn't take a shower in the bathroom unless it was ripped out, demolished and completely redone though (I've been watching way too much HGTV lately).
"Well... it has potential," Laurie says. Dan laughs. "It that supposed to be a negative comment?" "Well, it's $450 a month. That's that," She tells him. Which was true, considering the price, beggars couldn't really be choosers. "I'd sell you the house for $30000," Dan told her, all the while I was thinking, "Heck, I wouldn't even buy the place for $10000." I could see absolutely no way that that house had absolutely any potential at all.
We checked out Gordon College and drove around looking at all of the pretty Victorian Homes, and finally returned back to Forsyth.

On the way back, Dan called to tell us that if we noticed the plants on the coffee table, no, they were not marijuana, they were, in fact, herbal incense.