Sigh.
This week has been like walking on a cloud.
Joshua came Sunday, stopping at Wesleyan first to see me. I was so overjoyed to see him. It's difficult to miss him for such long periods of time but after that first hug I always realize immediately just why it's all so completely worth it.
I showed him my dorm and we stayed and talked for a while. Joshua helped me gather all of my belongings for my Cinderella party that afternoon, and we took separate vehicles to Forsyth to see the Kuckuck's. We stayed and talked a while, and then I got ready for my party and everyone else went to see additional family up in Jackson. We planned to meet back up for dinner at Longhorn that evening and I couldn't wait to finish up work. I admired the rural landscape as I drove through a quiet highway towards Gray and Milledgeville. It was an overcast day and the weather was cool and pleasant. The drive was an hour but I enjoyed the quiet time and the adventure it always was to see new places, to explore my beautiful new home. I really have come to love Georgia with all my heart.
The party went well; I passed out several business cards and my face painting was getting really good. I'm so thankful that I've gotten so much business so far and hope that it continues. Afterwards, I drove home, laughing quietly to myself as I reached and drove on Highway 441. 441, or Orange Blossom Trail back home in Florida, ran literally right past my house and I had driven on it nearly every day. I was right down the street from home... well, only by a few hours!
I made it back to Wesleyan, proud that I was learning how to navigate Macon and recognize roads and landmarks even without the aid of a GPS. Learning my way around has been a long process, but I know that I'll manage to do it eventually. I learn something new everyday. I unpack my stuff and heave it back to my dorm room. I get out of my voluminous Cinderella dress and change into nice, normal clothes, then give Joshua a call to see when I should meet them at the restaurant (still can't spell that dang word right!) 30 minutes later I find myself at Longhorn and greet Joshua with an affectionate kiss on the cheek. I've missed him in just the few hours I've been away. The wait is long and I sip diet coke to quell my hunger pains while we wait. We finally sit down and order our food and appetizers. The steak was awesome and I enjoyed talking with everyone again. I love being with my Georgia family, and it was so wonderful to have Joshua next to me and to remember what it's like to feel like a couple again. It's one of the best feelings in the world. My life feels entirely happy, complete. After dinner Joshua walks me back to my truck and we say a long goodbye. The next day is Joshua's birthday I don't want to leave him, but, I decide that I'll come back up to Forsyth for lunch after my O-Chem class ends at 10:50AM before I come back after work study at 5:30PM for his Birthday party. I didn't think that I could wait a whole other day to see him!
This proved to be correct because for the whole morning all I could think about was the very second that O-Chem would end and I would be able to hop in my car and go see Joshua again. The minutes ticked by achingly slow as I waited in class, diligently trying to take notes and pray that I'd pass my first Exam Wednesday, but finally it was 10:50 and I practically raced to the parking lot to hop in my car. I impatiently filled up my gas tank first before setting out on 475 up towards Forsyth. I raced there, hugged Joshua and wished him Happy Birthday. Josh, his brother Jake and I then walked downtown to get lunch. We stopped to get Ice Cream and then went to Jonah's for pizza rolls, both of which were a special, rare treat for my Diabetic self. Despite skipping Spanish for the day the minutes were too quick to race by this time, and hesitantly I left at 2PM to make it back for Work Study, promising to return soon.
Work Study in the admissions office couldn't end quick enough, and finally I was back in my truck driving towards Forsyth. Joshua and his friend Travis were at WalMart when I got back, and I impatiently waited for them to return. More friends came by and we all sat on the back porch until Mamabird had all the girls go into the kitchen to help set up dinner while Jake and the guys grilled burgers and hotdogs out back. I cut lettuce, tomatoes, cooked baked beans and helped set up the table all in a flurry as everyone rushed to get dinner ready. Everything was finally finished - and looked completely delicious - and we helped ourselves to good food, enjoying the company of great people.
When cake time rolled around, we all gathered around and sang Happy Birthday for Joshua as he blew out his candles. Then it was present time - I was so anxious for Josh to open his present! I really hoped that he would like it! He unwrapped presents from family and then got to mine. He opened the card first. "Read it out loud!" Everyone shouted. I blushed and convinced him otherwise, embarrassed to think of anyone except Joshua reading all of the mushy things I had written in the card! Josh then turned to the present and unwrapped it to a chorus of shouts - it was a Keurig! He really seemed to like it, which I was so happy about! I had been so excited the whole time as I had bought it and wrapped it, hoping so much that it would be something that he could enjoy! I ate a slice of cake and ice cream as we sat around the table and continued to talk, all the while my insulin staring at me from across the kitchen, forlorn and unused. I shoved the thought of Diabetes in the back of my head as I happily ate, the taste of cake all the sweeter for not having to have faced a needle beforehand.
The rest of the week was wonderful as I was able to look forward to seeing Joshua everyday after classes. We watched movies, snuggled, and just enjoyed getting to spend some well-needed time together. My blood sugar had been less than optimal though, and I was disappointed with myself. I had been so caught up with the excitement of seeing Joshua again and being around my Georgia family that I didn't want to think about Diabetes. I wanted to believe that if I shoved it away into some small, forgotten corner of my mind, that perhaps that would echo into my life. I hate picking the low-carb meals, opting for salad and vegetables, because they are "easy", non-bolus for foods. I hate the needles, which never stop hurting, which sting and bruise my body. I hate the symptoms, the constant seesaw that is my eternal struggle with maintaining my blood sugar. But Diabetes is so real, and I have to step it up again. Taking care of myself should be of utmost importance, no matter how much I get tired of the same Diabetes routine day after day. Taking care of my health is important, just like Joshua is, my family is, my education is. And I will start stepping it up again, gathering the motivation I need to carefully watch my blood sugars again. I don't enjoy it, but this is the price I pay to live. And that price is so worth it. Because, in all honesty, I wouldn't change this past week one bit. It was perfect, just as it was. The needles, the bad blood sugar, everything - I wouldn't trade any of it away. My life will never be perfect, or go the way I want it to. But I would never change anything about my life, either. God is so good, and he continuously graces me with so many blessings and signs of his love. Always. I have a caring, amazing family, a wonderful boyfriend who loves me, I go to a great college, and Jesus Christ is my savior. Life is full of blessings just the way it is, and there is nothing that Diabetes can ever do to change that.
No comments:
Post a Comment