If you know me well, then you'll know that I'm a big supporter of homeschooling. If you don't know me well, now you know.
But homeschooling and Diabetes are two seemingly unrelated things. How do I draw connections between the two even though during the time I was homeschooled, Diabetes wasn't even a thought in my head?
I didn't know it at the time, but my decision (and my mom's influence in my decision) to become homeschooled was going to become one of the best decisions of my life, for many reasons.
I was thinking this on the ride back from work the other day - I met a woman homeschooling her son, and he had just graduated high school and was going to college. At 16. We had a long conversation after she mentioned that her son had opted for homeschooling. To a lot of people, this seems really young, but to the homeschool population, this is actually the norm, oftentimes.
My view is this: 1. Homeschooling is not for everyone, so I'm not bashing anyone against it or who simply isn't interested in homeschooling.
2. On the other hand, homeschooling oftentimes gets a really negative stigma from people, simply based around a stereotype of what it is or what it is thought to be. It shouldn't. People homeschool for a variety of reasons, it's true. I was blessed to homeschool starting in the middle of 7th grade, when I voluntarily chose to leave my middle school, Millennium Middle. I think that, regardless of the stigma, though, homeschooling oftentimes boils down to this:
It gives children the opportunity to take their education as far and as fast as they wish. If the student wishes to excel, there is nothing stopping them, no lesson plans holding them back, no telling them, "wait for the group. Then we'll move on."
In a way, this is to be expected. How can a teacher with dozens of students be expected to individualize to each and every child's learning styles, habits, wants and needs? They can't. There are tradeoffs, to be sure. Public school is convenient, free and gives students a lot of the socialization they find valuable at that age. Some families simply don't think that they can find the time or the money for curriculum to begin homeschooling, which is entirely fair. Other students are turned off at the thought of not "being able to socialize" with other students of their age.
But homeschooling has huge advantages, for those that choose it. You
can have that individualization for each student, and because of that, these students excel and routinely score higher on standardized testing that the majority of public school students in America today. My high school Biology teacher summed homeschooling up well for me in ninth grade:
Life isn't multiple choice, so why should education be?
As a homeschooler, my mind opened up and expanded in ways I never even imagined (nor realized). I had always been a very good self learner, and I was the kid who in second grade came off the bus and was told by mom to go work on my homework before playing - well, every day I came home and responded,
"I already finished it all." I wasn't *supposed* to do my homework on the bus, but I always did, and by the time the ride was over, I was almost always finished. I excelled in public school in most areas (math has always been a little bit of a struggle for me), and had an excellent reading level by the time I reached second grade. By second grade, I was reading Harry Potter, and other larger books - books the librarian wouldn't often let me check out because they "weren't to my grade level" and would suggest easier books instead. So, my mom would supply me with these. By kindergarten, as a private schooler I had been taught cursive - only to be told, when I joined public school in second grade, that I couldn't use cursive because the children didn't learn it until third grade.
In geography, my sixth grade teacher described me as the student "who didn't say a word in class and got an A on every test." I could memorize things to a tee, I had the discipline to sit and literally memorize the chapters in the textbooks I needed for tests, and I could write an essay with ease. Public school was fun, but looking back, it never really challenged me.
What I'm NOT trying to get at is implying that I'm a genius. I'm not a genius - yes, I'm smart and I love research and reading, but learning has been something I have always worked hard for. I just know how to work hard and push myself to get the grades that I need. I have discipline and self motivation.
So to be honest, when homeschooling was suggested to me in seventh grade, I wasn't actually thinking about how it would benefit my schooling. At the time, I was a level 7/8 gymnast, and in the gym 5-6 days a week, 3-4 hours a day working out and practicing routines. With school, the schedule was grueling. I'd go to school all day, mom would pick me up, I'd change and she'd bring me dinner, and I'd go to gym until 8:30 or 9, then go home and work on homework, etc. It wasn't impossible, but it was a little rough to handle on both my mom and I. Mom talked to one of the other gymnasts' moms and found out about homeschooling from her. The more she learned, the more she liked - and pushed - the idea on me. I decided to take the plunge and go for it, thinking it would be nice to have a more open schedule. I loved my friends, but I'd never really felt like I'd gotten a super rich socialization life at school - I was the kid that picked a few good friends, and mostly kept to myself, beyond that. I was never the popular kid, nor did I want to be. I was just me - a little shy, a little awkward and nerdy, a good student, warm when I opened up to others.
I began homeschooling in the spring of my seventh grade year. I was 12 at the time. I took to it like water, bidding public school goodbye with hardly a tear, ordering curriculae and choosing classes with my mom, and getting to wake up early and finish my work before noon. We took field trips to The Bodies Exhibit and the Science Center. I was perfectly content to work at my own pace, and largely school myself, my mother knowing that I was more than able to sit myself down for adequate study times and essay writing. It wasn't all peaches - she and I fought over math and I got very behind in Biology 8th grade year because I procrastinated. I finished middle school strongly though, adjusting to my new life and finding plenty of time for the gym. We attending a Co-Op group of homeschoolers who met once a week on Wednesdays for classes such as science, drama and logic, which was supplemental to our schoolwork currently, and I felt that between gym, my former friends and co-op, that I was in no way missing out on any socialization that I had had at middle school... if anything, I had better socialization as a homeschooler.
I pitched a fit when co-op disbanded in 9th grade due to low attendance, thanks to the two homeschooler "umbrella" schools in Orlando at the time, Smith Prep and Circle Christian Academy. My mom decided to check them out and enroll me at Smith Prep. Glumly I kissed my total freedom goodbye and arrived at Smith Prep as an awkward ninth grader in my navy polo, brown patched converse and braces on my two front teeth (I cringe to think of it now). I traded in my self-picked curriculum for world history and apologetics, English 1, Speech and rhetoric, Debate, Biology, and took Latin II, Algebra and Geometry at home. Smith was a classical education school - we heavily read classics in English and wrote comprehensive essays every week. We studied poetry and had formal debates.
It was a blast, and much to my surprise I found that Smith challenged me in ways that public school hadn't, also. I developed a love for reading that extended to classics such as Pride and Prejudice and the Scarlet Pimpernel, War of the Worlds, and more. I learned I hated Thoreau and Emerson. I learned to give speeches in front of class frequently. I socialized and made better friends than I ever had in public school - friends I will literally have for life. Smith taught me an even greater degree of self motivation, discipline, outside the box thinking and creativity. I learned to organize my thoughts coherently and speak them, to debate appropriately, to think critically and argue my beliefs. To ask questions and seek answers. It was incredible, and by the time I hit 11th grade, my 15 year old self was ready to full-time dual enroll at Valencia College in Orlando, meaning that I only took college classes for the next two years. Instead of spending a whole year in an AP class (which I did 2), I spent 3.5 months in college classes and passed with relative ease. It wasn't a complete walk in the park - Gen Chem II, an evil Biology professor and College Algebra more or less put me through the ringer. But I walked out of Micro and Macroeconomics with the only A in the class and passed psychology and english with so much ease that it was almost laughable to me. Before I walked the stage for my highschool diploma in June 2011, I had already walked the stage for my Associates in May of that year and was a member of the honor society of Phi Theta Kappa at Valencia. I had a scholarship to Wesleyan and would begin as a Junior.
The crux of what I'm trying to get at is not to imply, again, that I did this because I am really smart, because I firmly believe that most students could do exactly what I did. I believed that I could and was pushed to achieve college at 15. No one tried to hold me back or tell me I needed to wait or spend more time socializing at High School or try AP classes. With no limits, I did what came naturally - I learned, and that's a point I'm trying to get at - without lines and limits in education to cross, a child can excel in his or her own uncharted world as far and as fast as he or she feels ready to go.
Oh yeah! So.... how does this play into Diabetes, again?
The connection I make is this:
Homeschooling taught me self discipline and motivation. It taught me to see the lessons that life gives me every day and find that every opportunity - the things we are exposed to every day - can be used as a learning experience. It taught me how to fine-tune my own learning strategies of reading and writing and visual learning, as well as using conversations as a way to reinforce study material I had learned. It taught me problem solving, and I can apply all of these skills and more to my illness every single day. Diabetes was a huge and hard adjustment. I was very devastated with it at first, and upset. I was afraid of needles. But after being pushed to overcome my fear or needles, I took to Diabetes as I knew that I had to, and as I had tackled any other problems I had faced. With discipline, I learned to do what I had to every single day - check my sugars, count carbs, give insulin. I listened to the advice of my doctors and read the books they gave me. I learned to research diabetes and I quickly went from a sliding scale of administering a set amount if insulin at each meal and eating the carbs to match (which to me was very restricting) to learning to count my carbs daily and give insulin to match. I learned the ins and outs of my body. I learned to manipulate my basal insulin on my own for exercise and nonexercise, or heavy or low exertion, days. I learned how to read my sugars and adjust my basal and mealtime insulins according to if my sugars were running to high or too low. I learned to eat with discipline and carefully balance my meals in order to control my sugars. I do not have to consult an endocrinologist to adjust my dosages, because I know how to listen to my body and my sugar readings and do it myself. I have learned what foods I respond well to or which foods I just shouldn't eat. I have learned to problem solve to try different strategies when sometimes controlling my sugar got rough - learning to give extra insulin in the morning, when my sugar runs higher and my body is not as responsive, to less sugar in the afternoon and evening.
It hasn't been easy, and I have this entire blog to drive that point home. Frustrations - phases of not wanting to check my sugars and phases of discouragement and upsets and being imperfect. Guilt and high and low sugars and worries and insecurities.
But I have made it through, and 3 years (I can't even believe it's been that long) with this devastatingly difficult disease has not broken or phased me. My sense of self motivation truly helped in this case, because I have always remembered that pushing through the obstacles at hand is the only option. No one will hold me back or tell me I can't, not even Diabetes. It's up to me to find ways to improve and achieve better and higher limits in spite of the challenges at hand. It's up to me to find the lessons in the every day experiences - from learning to carry extra snacks on a hike to not injecting insulin into my leg before I run because it will absorb too quickly.
Every day, I push through and not only do I push through... I get better every day. Now I am eating healthier, eating whole wheats and organic foods and fruits and vegetables. Natural sugars and saying no to most refined sugars, starches and breads that are unnecessary. Saying no to diet sodas most days and opting for tea, coffee and waters. My sugars haven't been as easy to manage since my honeymoon phase back when I first got Diabetes. I learn how to use housework, teaching gymnastics and light exercise to keep my sugar more easily in check - and to always try and stay
active and
moving and fill my life with activities to keep my heart pumping and get stronger and healthier. I don't feel worn out or tired - I feel amazing - and while Diabetes has its terrible downsides, I currently feel more empowered with a chronic disease than I ever did without. I am strong, I am capable, I am learning, motivating, disciplining, problem solving my way through this disease. Coming up with creative ways to fix problems, interesting new ways to exercise and tons of healthy food options. Asking questions about diabetes and actively researching answers. And I love it.
Homeschooling might have seemed like merely a good opportunity to do school in my PJ's and take field trips to McDonalds at the time. Little did I know that, all of the time that I was homeschooling - and now, all of the time spent living after my experience as a homeschooler - that, in a way, "Diabetes Management" was a class that I was simultaneously taking and preparing myself for all along.
