Time.

Whew! I haven't had a chance to write nearly as much as I'd like over break. I've had the joy of being able to spend valuable time painting, watching movies, sleeping in, having lazy days, catching up with old friends, enjoying time with family and loved ones, going to parties, and reading. I'm in love with break and haven't been bored for a moment.
In fact, if there's anything about life I have learned outside of PT this semester, it's something I was reminded of while chatting with an old friend:

Time is our most valuable asset.

And it is. No matter what I own, nothing beats the freedom of having time to my own. The ability to hike in the mountains or escape for a day, or take a walk in the park, or get drinks with friends. The ability to spend 8 hours straight painting away, or reading a book of my choice. Walking through town just to explore new places. My freedom and my time are so valuable to  me, and so I can't imagine ever being bored, when I have the luxury of time on my hands (which never comes often enough). Maybe that's the reason why I love it so much and can never get enough of it - maybe it's just my nature. It doesn't matter whether it's a day, or a week, or a month of Winter break, or a whole summer - there never seems to be enough time. I live it to the fullest and revel in the breath of each free day as though it is the last one in existence. Every day, chance for a new adventure or new experience or new person to meet, new knowledge to learn. I love having that love for life, that need to feel as though each day is an opportunity to work closer to a goal or better myself in some small way, even if it's just taking a "mental health day" to help myself be more productive tomorrow.

When I was diagnosed with Diabetes, I felt very upset originally because I felt as though this illness was an encroachment upon my personal freedom. And in many ways, more than one, it is - it is so much more than a name, a label, a number on a glucometer screen. Diabetes does a lot of things to you, and I'll say it over and over again - at least half of those things are mental. I wouldn't care half so much about those numbers on the screen or how thirsty and irritable a high made me feel if I didn't also have the worry of potential complications someday - the guilt of "I could have done better" - the conscious worry of conserving my test strips and insulin. Diabetes takes away your ability to be carefree, it's true. I'll never be truly carefree. I have to think twice about traveling and how I will provide medicine for myself and how I take care of my body and how often. So it took a long time to stop feeling as though Diabetes was stealing time and freedom from me, especially in moments when my body is crying "take care of me!", be it a low or I forgot to grab a new insulin pen so I have to leave wherever I'm at to go get a new one from home - and it has to come at the forefront of everything.

You have to shift your mindset - for me, taking care of myself is a price I pay to have my time and freedom, now. Now, as an adult, you realize there are certain needs you have to take care of, be it bodily or bills or making sure you have enough emergency savings in the bank or setting time aside for studying - these eat away at your "freedom", but in order to buy yourself the freedom to use your time as you wish, these are the things you must do.

And you'll find you start valuing your time all the more, then. It is precious. You paid for it. And you can't retrieve it once it's gone. So you must make the most of it - you owe that to no one but yourself. You answer to you at the end of the day -

"Did I spend my time to the best of my ability?" And if not - what can you change?

It makes you a busybody, but it's a happy way to live, and I find that regardless of feeling sad sometimes, my love for staying busy and industrious can always pull me through in the long run. This reminds me to count my blessings, and be grateful for each day as best I can. It's the best kind of therapy I could ask for.