Two More Semesters.

Monday marked the start of my last fall semester of school - ever. It also marks two years since I began my Doctor of Physical Therapy program.

Uhh... where to begin?! I can't even begin to describe how changed I feel. Part of me looks back on my clueless 20 year old, 1st-year self and cringes. Was I really that bad at answering those questions? How did that subject matter not make sense? Why was I so bad at practicing and applying myself? Things that used to seem like Greek to me now seem so much simpler. I can rattle off transfer skills and how to treat different joint arthroplasties and perform a Tinetti from memory - things that would blow the mind of first year me. Shy, tepid, super unsure - I went into this program not knowing what to expect. And, admittedly, struggling a good bit. It took a lot of tired, sleepless nights, tears, and anxiety to get to where I am today. It took a couple of kicks in the rear for me to realize what was at stake, and how much I needed to step up my game. I came out of undergrad tired and worn out - and, what's more, used to coasting in a lot of my classes - and arrived to Grad School grossly underprepared for what was to come. Looking back, I don't feel proud about that. But, all you can do with the past is reflect and learn... right? Learn I have.
I cannot believe I'm finally almost there. All the competencies, exams and practicals... the comprehensive exams - some days, most days, it felt as though it was all too much. It felt like an impossibly long road, to traverse the 5 academic semesters to clinic.

I remember seeing the third years coming back from clinic as a first year, and they seemed as though they knew so much! Now, I don't feel like I know half as much as I thought people in my position would know, but I know I've come a long way. I still have so much to learn as I begin my internship in Outpatient physical therapy next week, but I am excited. I really feel as though clinic prepares us to make the transition from student mindset to professional mindset. There's something different about gaining real life experience as opposed to learning in a classroom. The lecture on G Codes, severity modifiers and function limitations actually made sense today since I had experience billing and coding in the hospital this summer. Last spring, I would have been lost. Furthermore, it has been actually fun to go to work, get my busywork done and then go home and enjoy life. Sure, some days I have school to do - but it's nothing like juggling 18 some-odd credit hours while, staying at school all day and then studying and practicing skills and doing assignments the remainder of my free time. For the first time in a long time during my career as a student - I have the joy of being able to learn in school, but to freely enjoy my life. Enjoy life with my new husband. Exercise after work. Make plans with friends. Go out for a drink. It's such a new, novel concept to me - to be able to have a little free time to throw around as I please. And I am looking forward to spending my life like this.

I am excited to see these changes in me that have taken place. I went into my first clinic struggling for communication skills and confidence. I still have work to go, but I feel so much more comfortable with my ability to interact with people and I am starting to feel like I know what I am doing in this huge, wide world of physical therapy. I grew to love the patient interactions I experienced - hearing their stories, feeling empathy for them, troubleshooting problems.

I am excited to see how these semesters are changing me out of a student mindset that I've built from starting college at age 15 - to the mindset of someone who is going to enter the workforce in less than a year now. The long, stretching road before me that seemed as though it would last forever in undergraduate - the counting down, but having so many semesters to go - they are drawing to a close soon. And I feel like I am a runner who has hit their runners' high at this point, because I can't express to you how long I've fought and how hard I've sought to get here. Ever since I was a girl, I have dreamed of the day I can support myself. I have dreamed of it as I have gone through school, struggling to obtain medications for diabetes, not being able to afford a Doctor, struggling for a better life for myself. Sacrificing my weekends to work to save up money instead of partying or sleeping in. Striving for the day when I could finally finish this race and be successful. For the day that I could be Doctor Mason: PT, DPT.

I know that the next two semesters - and the boards - and, of course, post-graduate life - will be tough, and have their own challenges. But this semester, at least right now, it's nice to revel in the fact that my school years are starting to wind down to a close.