Fast forward one year. I have traveled out of country. I've completed all of my clinical and didactic coursework for school. I'm graduating May 13th. I've been married for nearly a year. I'm applying for physical therapy jobs. My husband started his own journey in school on the way to becoming a physician.
I'm so content and full with life right now. It has had its ups and downs, but I'm truly blessed. I have a sweet and smart husband who loves me so perfectly everyday. I knew so little a year and a half ago, and when I got engaged! There's so much I could have told myself back then. The wedding was only the beginning of a much longer life; only a small part of the picture of our bigger every day lives. After all, what is life, but thousands upon thousands of little 24 hour days, each with their own unique experiences, events, emotions, memories? You have to learn to love the little days. The "chill" days, the gloriously normal days. Lacy this past year has learned about sharing finances, of letting go of some of her control freak-ness, and learned about trust. You have to trust the other person to act on their judgement. You also have to collaborate to come to decisions; not because of codependency, but heck, out of respect (that's been a big thing for independent stubborn me). That girl, since a year and a half ago, has learned about priorities. She's learned that if you ave one car that week and it's raining but it's you're only day off and you really just want to sleep in, you need to get up and take your husband to class. Because it's so rewarding to your relationship to do good and be supportive. I'll often stay at Kris's work until 10:30 at night just to drive him home so he doesn't have to bike home in the dark, or keep him company. Now I'm the one that drives so my husband can do homework in the car instead of the other way around! I think appreciatively back at the times where he'd stay at work with me until midnight practicing. Where he'd stay up with me studying until he fell asleep.
You do things and you don't keep score. It's not about who emptied the cat litter x amount of times this week. You're a team and you each do your part. My husband is probably never going to clean the same way I do. But he cooks amazing french fries and takes out the garbage all the time. It works out.I've learned how important it is to care of yourselves and your soul. Be good to each other. Take time to get away. Hike. Hold hands at church. Put your phone away when you're at dinner. You may not even realize that your day to day is wearing you both down, and then suddenly you've been working all week, spent one night alone over dinner and that's it, and you realize you've hardly had time just to enjoy with each other in a long time. For me, I've learned a lot about work-life balance. Sometimes, it's about not taking that extra job and deciding to go out of town, just the two of you, that weekend. It doesn't even have to be anything fancy. You can travel on a budget. But the important thing is, you're taking time to tell the other person they are important.
You learn to listen better. Ask questions. Bring them water when it's 12 am and you just got in bed and you're tired. Let them play the music they like. There's so many things.
Because that person will do the same things for you. It's a privilege to share my life with someone who is just as devoted as I am. To know I have a permanent advocate for me, a forever teammate in life. Someone I enjoy not just the big things, but the every days, with. I've enjoyed these past 11 months of learning. I look forward to a lifetime of it.
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