Me Too.

I was just talking to someone last week about this. About how, growing up, it's easy to tell so-and-so that they should just tell someone about what happened. Speak up. Speak out. Call these people out. It's easy to say that when it isn't your problem.

It's harder when it happens to you. The sad thing is - the horrible thing is - it's happened to all women. I don't know a single woman my age who hasn't been the victim of sexual harassment or abuse/assault or has been taken advantage of or had something happen where they didn't consent or they aren't sure if they consented or if the lines are completely blurred but it still scars them.

It's little things sometimes. It's guys harassing you at the gas station at nighttime, making you feel uncomfortable as you're just trying to pump gas. You hurry a little faster. You press the lock on the door more quickly. Or maybe it's the guy that follows you back to your car and tries to ask how much you cost for an hour after you've left a kids party and you're dressed as a mermaid. I literally don't wear my cowgirl costume for kid's parties in public anymore because men will flat out harass you in it (this has been tried and tested - my best friend had it happen to her too, and it's not even an inappropriate costume). It's that jerk at your bachelorette party making fun of you for getting married and asking if you want to spend a night with him. It doesn't really matter what you wear. You can be wearing sweatpants and running and it'll still happen to you.

There's bigger things, things that hurt. Things that make you think afterwards, I should have done something or I should have said something, but you don't want to offend someone or don't want to make a big deal of it. Ladies, why don't we make a big deal of it? Are we not worth enough to make a big deal of it? I think of that time I was staying at my friend's house - she wasn't there. I wanted to go to bed to get to school in the morning. I was sleeping on the couch that night. My friend's brother wanted to hang out and watch movies. Then he wouldn't leave, even though I said I wanted to go to bed. I caught myself drifting off and woke up to him groping me. It creeped me out. I still didn't say anything. They were a nice family. Or that time my ex's friend came over to "help me feel better" after my breakup. I was stupid and naive. I cooked spaghetti and was washing dishes at the sink and he came over and started kissing me. "I'm sorry, I thought that's what you wanted. Everyone keeps talking about how you've been giving me signals since that first time we hung out," he said, as I stared at him in shock, thinking, I'd never once tried to give him any signals, period. This same guy later tried to convince me that he could help me through all the hurt of my ex - but we'd have to sleep together to get any "feelings" out of the way first.

My own experiences aren't the first or the worst or the last. But they're another string of stories in a long list of women that just want some respect from men and want to stop having to be creeped out by dudes that are "harmlessly" catcalling or "giving them a compliment" or saying lude things at the store. Please treat us like human beings and stop acting like we owe you anything. On a personal level, this is also why, as a woman, I choose to carry a firearm. It makes me feel safer to know that I can defend myself if anyone tries to make an advance at me. It HAS made me feel much safer on a number of situations since, as a woman who travels for a living (doing parties), I have traveled to a great deal of strange places completely alone, sometimes not getting back until late at night. The peace of mind is worth it, even if I never use it. I think the "me too" movement is cool - it's important to raise awareness about these important issues. If women are to ever be treated as equals, then we need to come out of the dark ages of thinking that the way women dress is what invites sexual advancement and harassment. I'm not saying women shouldn't be mindful of how they dress and be aware that certain things might attract more attention; but I'm definitely saying that how we raise our songs is just as important of a component too, and part of being a decent and functioning human being means having the decency to respect women and not treat them as objects. Let's all play our part to carry this generation into one that is more welcoming for people of all races, genders, orientations, religions, etc. Rant over.