I've come a long way.
My first day getting out was a trainwreck. After seeing the endocrinologist (for all terms and purposes known as the Diabetes Doctor), getting my finger pricked for the 500th time, establishing a meal plan, and learning the ins and outs of masochism-via-insulin-shots for dummies, mom, Dad and I celebrated and went to our favorite sushi restaurant in town, Fuji Sushi. It's always a bit strange, all of us being together. But it's nice to have the rare occasion of being out with both of my parents and I enjoy the novelty of it.
We sit down, I with my massive bag full of prescription glucose meters, strips, and insulin pens. I grab the nutrition book and flip to the "sushi" section. Dad and I used to come here all the time before I got sick.
The waitress comes over. "Aren't you that girl who used to come in here with her dad?" She asks me. "Yeah..." I said.
"You look different," she remarks.
No duh. I've been in the ICU for the past week, not exactly looking my best.
"I know. I've been in the hospital.." I reply. "She got diabetes." Dad said.
I was an emotional basket case. I promptly burst into inconsolable tears.
The waitress seemed panicked, like she didn't know what to do. "I'm sorry -- I'm sorry!" She cried. "Can I get you a drink?" "I'll-- I'll take-- the Diet Coke." I stumbled out. She took everyone else's orders and shuffled away.
I must have sat there 5 minutes debating whether or not I was going to prick my finger. I finally pricked it, tested my blood sugar, which was on the high side at over 300. I took an insulin pen. I screwed on a needle and held it to my skin, but every time I tried to plunge the needle in, I just froze. My utter and complete terror of needles along with my overly-emotional mental block was making it impossible for me to give myself that shot, which I had spent 15 minutes in the hospital last night gathering the courage to do myself. Which wasn't helping me now, because the more I thought about that, the worse I felt about not being able to do it now, and the more tears poured down my face, blurring my vision and throwing me into further hysterics.
I finally just gave up and had mom give me my two insulin shots.
I spent the rest of the time sniffling and eating my sushi.
It was not a good night.
Last night we went to have dinner with my grandparents, who are in town for the weekend. We went to Bahama Breeze and picked a nice table outside, where the band was playing and the breeze was blowing. People chatted, laughed and ate at tables and waiters darted about. I had my insulin pens, book and blood glucose testing supplies subtly tucked away into my white purse and I looked much more put-together than a week ago. I opened my nutrition book but found out that Bahama Breeze was not in it. I was a little panicked. How many carbs did everything have? The waiter came over. "Unsweet tea," I ordered courageously. I miss sweet tea terribly. I pondered over the menu some more, debating over which had more carbs, the salad or the chicken (If that seems like a stupid thing to wonder, consider that I've seen salads at restaurants that have upwards of 100 carbs - they can be deceiving). I settled on a chicken dish that seemed like a good balance of protein, vegetables and carbs and ordered that. My first glass of iced tea I put two artificial sugars in. Icky. Too chemical-sweet. My second glass I ditched the sugar and just squeezed lemon in. Thanks Coop; what a great tip! It wasn't sweet tea, but, well... it didn't taste completely like un-sweet tea at least, either. It was pretty good, from a diabetic's point of view.
Our food came. I rushed to the bathroom to give myself insulin shots. When at a restaurant, if you are a diabetic, always wait before your meal is in front of you to give yourself an insulin shot if it is the fast-acting kind. I take two kinds of insulin; Lantus, the slow-acting insulin that will last for 24 hours, and Novolog, the fast-acting insulin that will cover me when I eat and that I take before every meal. Novolog starts working in 15 minutes and is finished working after 2 hours, so you want to take it as close to mealtime as possible.
I pick a stall and prepare to give myself insulin shots in the leg. The door doesn't shut all the way; oh well, I figure. A lady accidentally opens the door. "I'm sorry," she says. "Oh, it's fine, I say casually, needle in hand, shorts lifted up. "No big deal."
Goodness, I'd hate to know what she was thinking.
I give myself my shots and casually hurry back to the table. My meal looks like the healthiest thing on the table and I devour it quickly. Over the past week I've built up quite an appetite. I don't know how many carbs are in my meal but I hope my blood sugar will be okay. I wonder if maybe I should have given myself another unit; but my blood sugar had been only 65 before eating and I'd been feeling hypoglycemic. I had taken two glucose tablets (basically pills of sugar that diabetics always carry around in case of low blood sugar) because I get very shaky and weak when my blood sugar is low. I could always tell when my blood sugar was low, even before I became a diabetic. I thought that I simply had hypoglycemia, but now that I think about it, perhaps I should have taken the wacked-out blood sugar as an indication that something else was afoot, and should have gotten tested for blood sugar issues long ago. But no use dwelling in the past. Unfortunately, for some reason I am not yet good at telling when my blood sugar is high. I can't hardly tell at all, and I wonder if I will ever be able to tell - well, before I get sent back to the hospital because it's too high, that is. (Which will hopefully be never).
Overall, it was a good night. I was a bit emotional still about the whole diabetes thing, because I had to do a lot of explaining to my grandparents about giving myself shots before every meal ("Yes, I have to do that for forever") and why I had bruises all over me ("Insulin shots often leave bruises").
And, at 9:30 when I tested again, my blood sugar was 201! I know that is a little on the spikey side, but for eating out that isn't bad considering what my levels have been like lately. So I feel that I am making a bit of progress.
Now I am eating out again tonight - wish me luck?
Oh how I love your posts! I went from being in tears with you to laughing about the lady walking in you wondering what she must have been thinking! So, I'd like to do Red Lobster tonight because I think they will have better low-carb options. I'm going to get some fish and steamed veggies myself. I can't eat salad (the open bite I have because of my braces), so I'll get some soup to start. See you later :)
ReplyDeleteSounds yummy! Braces are definitely something I don't miss, but goodness, you are going to have such an even more beautiful smile when they're off! See you later tonight, jen!
ReplyDeleteNote: Augh, so I totally wrote out this long post and blogspot ate it! So apologies in advance for the brevity and formality of a summarized response.
ReplyDeleteLearning to feel where your sugar is will come to you over time. Most people don't really think about their bodies during their daily life. They eat and drink and play and go their merry way, but for those people that have to watch their intake it's a different story. Paying close attention to your body will not only help you to notice your sugar levels, but also to notice other problems that may arise. My girlfriend Bridget has been diagnosed with Type I for most of her life and she's had a lot of time to learn how her body reacts to an extreme high or low and how she should feel when she's healthy. She typically knows before anyone else that her sugar is too high or too low (without needing to check her sugar, I mean) and when she is going to get sick with a cold or other illness. She's also keenly aware of her level of hydration. There have been many times when we were hanging out that she would suddenly jump up to check her sugar because she felt that it was in an extreme.
On a side note she has agreed to chat with you. I don't know if she's already messaged you or not, but that should be starting soon (on Facebook).
Back on subject: I have a small list of things you can watch for to help monitor whether your sugar is high and you could even tell your family and friends.
The primary sign is extreme thirst, but due to the effects of diabetes on the body you will often be dehydrated, regardless of your sugar levels. The need to pee a lot even if you are dehydrated is another one; your body will try to flush out the excess glucose that isn't getting absorbed. Dizziness, headache, and nausea usually accompany each other and are another primary sign of a high glucose level. Dry mouth is common, but more associated with extreme highs than with something below 300. Feeling tired and fatigued (more so than you were feeling an hour prior, at least) is common. The lack of glucose in the cells means they won't be getting energy to keep running. And finally if your vision starts to blur or have pixelation (seeing dots, speckles, or other "artifacts") then that means that your sugar is on the extreme end of 300-400+. Some people are more prone to blurry vision because it's how they're body works, but for my girlfriend it means that she's really spiked and needs immediate insulin and water. The reason your vision blurs is because when the glucose in the blood goes up, extra glucose gets into the lens of the eye. Water gets flushed into the lens to reduce the glucose, but that causes the shape of the lens to change and reduces the capability of the lens to focus light, which results in blurry vision and artifacts. You had this problem (from what I read) around the time you were hospitalized and if you remember it clearly enough then try to look for those signs in your vision if you can't determine anything else. One last thing, if you start to feel confused or like you're drunk then that can mean your sugar is high or low, though it's typically associated with low blood sugar.
I hope that helps! Even if you knew it all already it would still be good to pass on to family and friends so that they can watch for those signs. I'm a bit protective of Bridget so I make sure to monitor her carefully, even when she doesn't want me to do it. :P
Whoops, I forgot something! If your hands and feet feel like they are falling asleep without anything that could be blocking the blood flow, then that means your sugar is getting high as well. The glucose will start to interfere with the nerves and send false signals, the most common sensation being pins and needles or tingling.
ReplyDeleteThankyou for all of the great info! I can't tell you how helpful it is. Sorry to reply to your long message with such a short one... caffeine can only keep me going for so long... but feel free to leave any more useful tips in the future, I can assure you that they are very much appreciated!)
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