On to post number two! The explanation is this:
"In February the Wego Blog Carnival asked participants to write letters to their condition. You can write a letter to diabetes if you’d like, but we can also take it one step further. How about writing a letter to a fictional (or not so fictional) endocrinologist telling the doctor what you love (or not) about them. How about a letter to a pretend (or again, not so pretend) meter or pump company telling them of the device of your dreams? Maybe you’d like to write a letter to your child with diabetes. Or a letter from your adult self to the d-child you were. Whomever you choose as a recipient, today is the day to tell them what you are feeling."
---
Dear Younger Me,
You never knew.
You never knew that you would grow up and be like this.
You had big dreams - a teacher, a journalist, an artist, an archeologist, the President of the United States.
Diabetes was never a part of that dream, it never had a place in the future that you had always envisioned. Whether a mere day, a week, a month, 10 years before Diagnosis - you could have never imagined what would happen to you.
If you had stopped and thought about where you would be now, as I am; ready to go to College and just graduated from highschool - your thoughts and this present reality would surely differ.
But unwanted, unasked for, completely unexpected, Diabetes made its way into our life.
Diabetes crept in, unannounced, and changed our life forever.
It invaded our thoughts, our hopes and dreams.
Now we will never be the same.
I salute you, younger me.
Many Type 1 Diabetics do not have the luxury of looking back and clearly remembering a time when they did not have Diabetes, when constant finger pricks and the smell of insulin were not a part of every day life, were not part of the thoughts that occupied our minds.
But I do.
And I will never forget you, younger me.
I will never forget what it was like.
I can never again take those days for granted.
The carefree days, the times you baked homemade chocolate chip cookies and happily taste-tested the cookie dough along the way.
When one or two extra cookies or slices of pizza never hurt or incurred guilt.
When my skin was unblemished, unmarked, unbruised by pinpricks and needles.
When highs and lows never plagued my life will their inopportune moments, always demanding my full attention, no matter the current situation.
When being healthy seemed like forever.
When financial issues never plagued my mind, with thoughts such as, "how am I going to afford insulin in College?"
I would give any thing to go back to those days, younger me.
I wish that I could be you again.
I no longer take your life for granted, but I worry that you did.
It wasn't your fault, you never knew.
You never expected this.
But if you could ever read this, younger me, please just know this.
Love every day of life you are given, never pass up doing something on the belief that you will be able to do it later. Be thankful for every moment that you have, trust in God, and make the best of all that you have been given.
I am so, so sorry that this is the future you have to look forward to. I wish that I could protect you from this, I would do anything in my power to. If only you did not have to shoulder this incredible burden. But all I can do is offer you these words.
Never lose hope. Life will go on. There are many things to worry about, and there always will be, but there isn't time nor reason to spend your days plagued by those bad thoughts. Life is too short. As long as you are still alive, so there is still reason to love life.
Life is an incredible gift, and you must go on living it no matter what, no matter how bad things may seem, until you take your final breath.
Finally, younger me, know that God loves you, and that he has a special plan for your life.
Know that I love you.
Someday, younger me, you will see that everything will be okay.
- Lacy.
No comments:
Post a Comment