We Now Interrupt Studying To Bring You This Blog

I've been at College over a week, but it feels like ages. This has been one of the longest weeks of my life! Adjusting is strange. I have been away from home before, but actually being moved out feels entirely different. Nothing can quite describe how strange it is to know that I will probably never live at home again. That era of my life has ended, and thus has begun the rest of my life. And besides the profound, then there's the nitpicky things... Items such as laundry detergent, dryer sheets, snacks and cleaning supplies that I once took for granted I now find myself carefully budgeting for on my shopping list at Walmart. I have to clean the bathroom mirror, wipe down the counters, and haul my laundry down to the basement... and not forget to leave my clothes there, because this isn't my laundry room at home.

My way of life has changed, too. You pick up many little things. Like the fact that the ability to sew in College is a commodity. So is having a vehicle. Get to meals early otherwise there won't be any plates, fruit or plastic cups for tea left. Everything else seems to take precedence before the word "sleep" can even make it into your vocabulary.

Sometimes I am overwhelmed. Wesleyan is academically rigorous, and although I haven't been in classes even a week it feels like I have already plunged neck-deep into 3 months worth of work. I have two years of college experience but Wesleyan is quite unlike Valencia in every way imaginable. The Professors are much more in-depth, and expect so much more, than many of my Professors at Valencia did. Everyone here is so bright and focused that as a student here you feel the need to strive and work the hardest that you can.

My schedule is filled, it is insane. It's not necessarily that I'm taking more classes - I'm actually taking far less than I'm used to this semester - but the way they are spaced, classes all 5 days a week, makes my schedule very tight. Add in work study, study, managing a business, homework, mealtimes, Diabetes, me-time, exercise, balancing friends and relationships, and my excellent time management skills have suddenly been sent reeling.

I am still getting to know people... and adjusting to the concept of doing so. My homeschooling background combined with my shy nature and my time at Valencia as the baby in all my classes had previously culminated in a rather socially isolated lifestyle for me. I kept a group of immeasurably close, tight-knit friends from Smith Prep (My Homeschool-Highschool) and few others. Now I have left my friends behind, the ones who I had grown up with, bonded with, spend years growing comfortable with. I am surrounded by strangers, people I have never met. It is strange to let myself open up, shake off the shyness, and share my life with those I don't know. And I don't quite know what I'm looking for in people. I have made some great friends here at Wesleyan so far, but... I just feel... a little cut off. I talk to a lot of people, but rarely do I feel as if I get the opportunity to talk about myself. Is it selfish to feel that way? I hope not. I feel as if I am bursting at the seams with things to say, but few to listen. Rarely have I ever shared my life with others, but it used to be because I didn't want to. Now I want to, but will others listen? Will I bore them with my thoughts, my worries, my frustrations, my joys, my stories? Would they ever even want to ask questions about me? Sometimes I just wish someone would come up to me, introduce themselves, and ask me how I am. How I really am.

I would tell them about my Diabetes. How difficult it is when so few people can truly understand what having a chronic disease in life - and most particularly in College - is all about. How I carry glucose tabs in my backpack and carefully calculate all the carbs in my food before I eat. How I prefer to eat my carbs rather than drink them, and how sore my fingertips get when I prick them in the same place with the lancet too much. How it sucks to feel like the world is dizzily turning upside down as you suffer from a low while the whole world looks on and thinks that there is nothing wrong. I would show them my Medical ID Bracelet, which rests in its place on my left wrist always. I would tell them about my family back home, about my mother and my father, about life growing up in Florida. Why I chose Wesleyan and why I chose to leave Orlando, Florida behind for the seemingly lackluster in comparison city of Macon, Georgia. I would tell them how I love experiencing the seasons, the joy I get from seeing hills and mountains, the satisfaction of being able to drive somewhere in less than 20 minutes. I would tell them my testimony, my stories, my roots. I would tell them about my best friends, my boyfriend, the people I love. I would tell them my favorite things to do, like sitting in the library with Libris the cat, going on adventures and seeing new places, listening to music, and dancing in the rain. I hope that there will be those who will ask.

Life is different now, more so than it has ever been before. I love it, it is wonderful, and God's work is apparent everywhere. It'll take time to adjust to this new place, but I'm confident that, in time, Wesleyan will begin to feel like home.