Humble.

Well, this is my life lately, you guys. And for me - detail-orientated, planning, dreaming, goal-driven me... this is unimaginably hard. 

For those of you that didn't get the news, I was waitlisted for the Doctor of Physical Therapy Program at Mercer University, and I was also waitlisted for UCF. So naturally... there's been a wrinkle in some of my carefully laid plans.

I guess I always imagined that graduate school would come, maybe not easily, but it would come, and getting accepted wasn't a matter of if, but when, and what I really had to deal with was what happened next. But it would seem that, perhaps, that isn't God's immediate plan for me. And I have been greatly humbled for having learned this. My perfect plans did not come to fruition.

So what's next? I have had to confront the possibility that Grad School isn't happening this year, and that for a year or so I will possibly be stuck in limbo, grabbing up more physical therapy experience to beef up my resume and trying to figure out how to get a "real" job (because princessing is nice, but just it alone won't pay the student loans or tolerate my love of buying clothes).  

Truth is I'm not quite sure, and that's a scary feeling. The "real world" was supposed to still be three years away, and suddenly I find myself about to be immersed in it, and kind of unprepared. Where do I look for a job? Will I get hired? Will that factor in to my ability to qualify for Medicaid? So many questions, so few answers. 

On top of that it's just hard, because I have built a life here at Wesleyan and truly love the people and places I have come to know. The crisp winter air, the yellow leaves of the gingko tree in fall, the geese walking on the quad. I savour and treasure every precious moment, realizing now what they say when they tell you that college years are some of the best years of your life. Yes, I'm stressed, pretty much all the time. Yes, I work, way more than I should. Bills come before fun purchases, and dining hall food gets a little old after a while. But the experiences.... the relationships built with people, even my love for working in the office of Admissions at Wesleyan make me realize that I hesitate to say goodbye to my cherished title of undergraduate student in just 3 months. 

But the Lord's purpose prevails, does it not? I am excited. There are so many possibilities before me, so many opportunities in which to test the waters and discover my niches and discover what is hopefully an even greater appreciation and love for life. I readily embrace the future, as scary, and uncertain, and delightful as it is. It's going to be a great adventure! And success will come... in some way, in some form: I know that it will.