Just Musing, Really.

I wish I knew what I was doing.

But lately, the time passes, and the less I know. 

The months have flown by - August to September, October to December, January to March. 

I've been through three cars in two months, my stress levels have looked eerily similar to a high speed roller coaster, and my life feels like... a big question mark, well sometimes it does. 

I'm tired! Really, I am. The responsibilities keep piling up around me 

My emotions are constantly in flux

Not going to grad school? Guess I'll find a job
Going to grad school? Guess I'll find some loans
Work on as much as my body can sustain

Continue to live for the nights where I can eat giant hamburgers at the Vortex in princess dresses

Even though my blood sugars pay for it later.

Well, I'm holding on

To the last vestiges of the life I have built around myself. 

Meanwhile change lies before me as apparent and solid as the graduation invites I print out for my friends and family

I close my eyes and envision my life

And I have very little, now;

I have very little firm and solid plans
One dream before me to hold onto in the dark

And really, all I have besides is a burning passion inside me

A fire

To live life to the best and fullest

To make a lasting impact on the world, one little action at a time

To find meaning

To create purpose

To gain new experiences everywhere.

And I am me
I will keep pushing forward
Every day another reminder
Of the reason why I choose to push on
Every day a new step
In the journey that is life

And the journey begins today.