Phenomenally Human

If there's anything major that I have learned since starting Graduate School, it's that I am utterly, completely and phenomenally human. I am flawed, I am tired, I need to work harder to improve my results. Aware of my perceived limits more than ever, I have tried, I have experienced failure, discouragement and I have pushed myself to be better than ever before. And it's hard - with seven classes on my plate plus working parties on weekends, life is much like it was during undergrad, only completely different. My life seems to literally revolve around school. I have to set certain times of week to take breaks from studying, otherwise I will literally just go to school, come home or go to a coffee shop and study all the time.

So, one of those set times just so happens to have become every Monday night at 8 PM. Last week I sought out swing dancing events in Atlanta, only to stumble upon Georgia Tech's Swing Dancing Association's Swing Night. I arrived, a little late, in the large ballroom at 9PM that night for an hour of lessons and my very first experience doing any kind of structured dance outside of the Chicken Dance and Cha Cha Slide. Awkward and with seemingly two left feet, my friend Chelsea and I practiced in the large room, switching from partner to partner, counting out 6 counts, rock steps and inside-outside turns. Then, at 10 we were released on the dance floor with the other dancers. I was a little nervous, but the experience levels were all varying. I didn't feel so bad, then. I discovered that all of the leads were different - hence I danced a little differently - learned to better hold my frame, pay attention to pressure and be parallel to my partner. I loved to spin around, even if I had a little trouble counting out my steps on occasion. After 3 hours I was left sweaty, heart rate up, blistered feet, sore calves and with a blood sugar of 60 from being on my toes almost nonstop. I was exhilarated. Craving more, the following Monday I attended Hot Jam Swings in Atlanta, hosted every Monday in a cozy cabin in the middle of Buckhead. It is a delightfully rustic, close-quartered room surrounded by trees where people dance until late in the night. It's an awesome way to unwind on a Monday, and there is some incredible talent there.

And so, it turns out that swing dancing is quick becoming a love of mine. I discovered with it, a way to relieve stress and tension. It was amazing therapy. I felt free, unburdened and unworried when I could dance and forget my troubles. It was amazing! Those too-brief moments when I dance, I can block out the world and I feel such a rush of elation and joy, it makes me want to go back and dance every night. Every Monday will have to suffice. It's also great blood sugar regulation, too. ;)

So, in short, I have been trying to coach myself out of being stressed from school and all of the things I have to do. To take walks, exercise, rock climb, dance, call people on the phone, write blogs and poetry, go to the park (never often enough)... to live in spite of school, not just trying to hold myself above the swiftly moving current that is the heavy grad school workload.

 If anything, it gives my imperfect, stretched slightly too thin, Diabetic, flawed, very phenomenally human self a way to recharge and press on through the rest of the week. And it shows me what an incredibly delightful, joyful experience that dancing can be - what a joy it is to discover these little things in my life here in Atlanta.