2 Months.

Earlier this week, it was eve of a big competency for school. There I am, listening to nostalgic music, and cats are surrounding me. A year ago, my life looked very different. Spring 2015 semester was in full swing, life was sucking hard, the music I was listening to wasn't quite nostalgic yet, and the man I'm marrying in two months I hadn't event met yet - but I was going to. Soon.

I was a different person then, even though it was only a year ago. I was sad. Down to my core sad.  I felt alone; a lot of that was because I kept trying to seek validation from people that I would have been better off with leaving alone. People who didn't build me up, but left me feeling empty. Some of it was I was literally alone in a huge city. I'd go to school, go home, and repeat. Some of it was that I felt like school and work and life was a huge mountain that I had to climb and there was no one else around to help me through it. I wasn't confident, I wasn't happy, and the future had a big question mark in front of it.

I don't miss that at all. But you know the kind of cool thing? That man that I'm going to marry was going through some of the very same things, at the same time. We were both sad, but we were about to meet each other, and change each other's lives. We just did a lot of struggling before then. I can honestly look back at last year, and then look at the months following my meeting Kris - and see that I have changed for the better. I truly have. And that's always the kind of person I wanted to marry: someone that challenges me to change for the better, someone I can be a team player with, someone I care for more than I do for myself.

I measure my life in semesters a lot, as school takes up so much of my life. I can now look at summer, at this past fall, and now almost all of spring, as the last month of my didactic PT school career will draw to a close at the end of April. And right now? Life is good. I just found out that I received a 100% on my entire competency this week. I've gone from a girl who failed almost everything in school to someone that is actually proud of her performance as a physical therapy student. I'm more confident now - I can do it. I can put in the work. The hours are long and my mind gets tired from the work, but I'm doing it.
I'm now writing this while listening to artists that I learned about through my fiance. I now own a plaid shirt. I can comment on coffee more than I used to be able to. And I'm joyful. My life isn't any more perfect than it ever was, but everything, in spite of how overwhelming life still gets sometime, is so damn wonderful that I can't help but wake up thanking God every day.

The challenges of life aren't nearly as bad when you share half of the burden with your better half.

I love Kris. Prior to him, I had never experienced love like I experience for him. An overwhelming feeling of positivity towards life that bleeds into all of the aspects of my life. An optimism that was waiting to be found in me. A desire to be more like him - impossibly generous, kindhearted, and the best example of loving someone that I've ever seen. Kris loves me so gracefully and completely, even when I am upset, downtrodden, or overwhelmed. He doesn't waver for a second. He's helped me through so much - and I can't wait to marry him in two months and see what marvelous adventures life has in store for us.