Last night, I realized that, despite having been a children's entertainer for years, there's a first for everything. I read the email from Paypal in disbelief that they'd decided to believe the client that stated the charge (for the deposit they paid for me) was unauthorized. Even though the card matched the name and address that they gave me and that I went to do the party at. Even with 2 witnesses, a booking agency to vouch for my being there, and a contract as well as an entire written conversation where the client agreed to pay the deposit and then confirmed paying it. Paypal and the client's bank still decided to refund them, leaving me with a $70 loss. I was pretty upset about this, vented a little to some other face painters, and set out trying to contact Paypal again to reinvestigate the case. I tried to reach out to the client (with no avail, of course). Thieves are going to be thieves I guess.
Thankfully, aside from one bounced check I've never had any issues, but it was a reminder to me that you never know if you're going to deal with a bad person, no matter how prepared you feel that you are. This, sometimes, is a lot of the ugly sides of business - you deal with these things, a small percentage every year gets chalked up to bad debt that you simply have to eat, and you move on. There's days when it feels like all 5 of the clients I've been talking to decide to go with other entertainers after stringing me along for a week or two. Or who flat out tell me I charge too much (I charge the same as any reputable entertainer here). People are going to be people. It hits you a little harder when you're personally invested and your livelihood is at stake. It hits you a little harder when you don't clock out for the day, but you dwell on this stuff because it's yours to dwell on.
There's the days that go on forever, too. It's 10:45, and I crawl into my car, my Rapunzel skirt soaked with water, my ballet flats damp from the rain. I've hauled my bags out in the dark and rain alone, and I had struggled to get the heavy bags back into my car. I can't help but think of a lot of scenarios like this one that have played out through the years. People are sometimes impressed at the level of success I've had with this business. (Long story short, I already have savings and investments that I started at 18). Business allows you to be incredibly successful and achieve a lot.
But it came at a price. I have sacrificed birthdays, holidays and time with friends to grow my business, to take that "really good gig", to put some more money into savings or make sure I can pay my bills each month. I've worked my birthdays, I've missed family dinners, parties, fun weekend events. Much to the chagrin of some less understanding friends... heck, I even had an ex mock me and say I didn't know what it was like to have a real job until I did retail or wait tables. He'd say it was unfair of me to make so much more than him, and mock me for working even though that same work, while it required me to work some holidays, paid his bills! (And to him I politely say, f*** you. I never worked in the rat race of retail/restaurants because I didn't have to. Start your own business if you can't deal with that). All that to say though, you've got to tune out the unsupportive people if you have goals and dreams of your own. The people that will love you, will support you.
The weekend just isn't really my time to have fun because I have work to do. Worth it? Yes. Is it a sacrifice? Also yes. I don't get an off day unless I give it to myself, and if I do, there's no paid time off. I accept the fact that I'm losing out on money. Which is fine, but you have to plan and save for those weekends, or those slow weekends or slow seasons (cough, summer).
Having a business has been one of the most rewarding ventures of my entire life. It has taught me SO much about myself. I started as a shy 17 year old, putting ads on Gigmasters, even Craigslist, to drum up business. I think I got 3 gigs my first summer, that was it! I knew no one, I had no clientele, and I was entirely new at this. My heart hammered every time I called a client to follow up with them about an event inquiry. I tried to sound as though my voice wasn't shaking, tried to sound confident, even if I wasn't! That was my life for years. Trying to be confident, even when I wasn't. I laugh now, but this was a time before I even had a working GPS on my phone. I used an out of date Garmin and refused to buy a charge cord for it, so I turned it on, wrote down the directions, and then turned it back on every 30 minutes or so on long car rides, only leaving it on once I got close to my destination. I made a lot of wrong turns back then...
I was still learning how to twist balloons. I'd stay up until midnight practicing some nights. I'd play around with my princess makeup, trying to make it as good as I could. I'd cram to get all my homework done during the week so that I could devote the weekends to work.
Fast forward a year, and my business was actually starting to take off. I had consistent gigs every single weekend of the year. My first year, I'd get 2, maybe even 3 bookings every weekend - I started to get 2 or 3 bookings on Saturdays and Sundays. The most events I've ever done in one day was 5 (and I don't recommend it). I was actually confident on the phone now. I had learned (the hard way) to take deposits to avoid getting stood up at parties. I was starting to build clientele and get good reviews online. These reviews have helped me to get gigs every year after that. I built a reputation and I worked hard to make people happy. Sometimes this meant staying a little late at events, or going the extra mile to dress to match a theme or learn to make a lifesize Dr. Seuss balloon with lifesize matching Thing 1 and 2's just to make a client happy. Going the extra mile, keeping a smile pasted on your face and cheer in your voice even when you're dead tired - these are, I will always firmly believe, pivotal to giving customers a good experience. It's my way and it's worked, at least.
But at the end of the day, as I grow closer to taking less weekend events and focusing more on full time physical therapy, I can't help but breath a little sigh of relief.... does this sound bad? I don't know. My mom calls it the hustle and it's so true. This business, at least, it is a hustle. It's a constant string of worrying where your next paycheck is coming from because you're at the mercy of clients deciding to book. Weekend after weekend, you drum up gigs, hoping you have enough to fill the quota for the month. And most times you do, but there are slow months and times when it's not as much as you would have hoped. There are no benefits, and you're constantly fighting out other competition who has better costumes than you or cheaper prices or there's simply 20 other people for clients to choose from. Despite my having incredibly good reviews and years of experience, that still happens to me. Do not get me wrong - managing a business has changed my life. My mom raised me to be an independent, savvy and driven woman, and these are things I identify with. But people giggle a little when they ask me why I wouldn't want to be a princess forever, and while I know they're joking half joking, the answer is no, I don't want to be a princess forever (even if I'm 23 and still look 18). That hustle is hard. I don't have health insurance. And I make good money, but I'm tired. Having a job with a guaranteed paycheck every two weeks, paid vacation (what!) and actually being able to afford healthcare is going to be a welcome change. No, it's not working for myself. Yes, it's full time all week. I welcome that though,because it's security: something I haven't had in a very long time.
Am I giving up business ownership? Heck no. I'll still do weekend parties - it's all extra income to pay expenses (or save up) with. More importantly, I love it. I adore people and different cultures and working with children. It never fails to make me happy. And if you ask me what my 10 year plan is, I'll excitedly tell you that I would like to operate my own home health company, because I have a passion for traveling to people's homes to help them, be it parties or physical therapy. Business ownership is fun, scary, exhausting, and it's also doubly rewarding because your successes are all done thanks to you.
There's good, there's bad, there's ugly to everything, especially business. I'm just glad I've been blessed enough to live that and have a choice to have a secure and rewarding job as a physical therapist all before the age of 23. It's taught me a lot about life and what I want from it. The drive will never go away to succeed and be my own leader and push for excellence - but I'm happy I get to have a weekend off every once in a while. To have stability and healthcare. That's been my dream for a very long time.
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