Yesterday was a fun experience for me. One of my old professors from Mercer asked me to come in and volunteer for Diabetes foot lab. This is a day that students get to practice performing diabetic foot exams on real patients -- reflexes, sensation screen, ROM, foot strength, ulcer screens, temperature checks, and ABI (Ankle-Brachial Index, a measure of your foot circulation). I arrived to a group of what appeared to me mostly Type II's. One woman turned to me and asked me if I was with the foot lab. "I am!" I told her. "Oh, yay, I'm not the only one!" She continued to chat with me as we sat on the lobby couch. "So are you a student?" One of the people across from me asked. "I used to be. I just graduated! Now I'm the patient!" "You must be Type 1," he said. I told him I was. "Do you have a pump?" I nodded no, I didn't. "My insurance doesn't cover one. But I'm hoping, if I pass my boards and start working soon, that I can get an Omnipod. It's tubeless!" He and the other lady sounded very impressed by this. I couldn't blame them - that was my response when I found out that pumps were tubeless, too. When I was diagnosed, which in the world of medicine (6 and a half years) was a long time ago, pumps were attached to you with tubes. This can make things like swimming and showering and dressing other activities difficult. I feel like I wouldn't really mind if my pump was tubeless. I had tried the sample my diabetes educator had given to me back in April. Unfortunately, it was just a sample, so I didn't get to insert it - the part that really scared me. They used to have really big insertion sets (see below) and I'm sure they still do, but the Omnipod actually inserts itself once you turn it out. Not going to lie, that scares the heck out of me. Way back in the day, your girl here used to be very afraid of needles. Now I'm only a little afraid of needles. Meaning, I still look away and get anxious when I go to the doctor's for a shot. I hate getting blood drawn. And the way I get around dealing with injecting myself is simply by doing just that - doing it myself. That way it's predictable and at my own pace. I don't like other people doing it for me. I suppose I'll get used to it if I get the Omnipod - it'll just be a challenge for my fear.
"Are you using insulin pen needles?" I asked the woman beside me. "No," she said. "I used to. I used to have good insurance. Now I'm on syringes and vials." "Me, too," I told her. "Or really, anything I can get my hands on!" We laughed a little at that, mutually understanding of how difficult this disease can be financially on people. We deal, but life gets a little harder for it.
The sensation on my feet checked out just fine. I don't feel the monofilament on my heel quite as much (a measure of protective sensation), but my heels are almost all callus from years of dance and gymnastics and barefoot walking. My ABI was above 1.0 on both feet. I was very glad about both of these things - I feel as though I'm hyper aware of my body now. I'm always worried that maybe I don't feel as well on my toes as I used to, or that if my feet fall asleep it's definitely neuropathy. A lot of my research in graduate school was on preventing and treating diabetic peripheral neuropathy. I've spent a lot of time designing exercise programs and researching the programs with the best efficacy - lots of swimming, balance exercises, ankle/foot strengthening, and progressive walking and treadmill programs. I recently started running also in hopes of keeping my sugars well controlled and keeping my feet strong. I desperately want to stay healthy.
It's still hard. I called the pharmacy to refill my insulin this morning. "Just the Lantus," I told the pharmacist. The (long acting) Lantus is fully covered. My short acting Novolog (or Humalog), that you take at mealtime, is still only partly covered. "You're just refilling the one?" She asked. "The other one is a little expensive," I told her. "Well I'd hate for you to only be taking one... oh, that this expensive." I laughed. "It's ok, I know." It wasn't her fault. I had managed well enough thus far. I still held my hopes up that I'd pass boards and get health insurance at my job soon. One can only pray...
Life is what it is though. It's a daily struggle to make sure you have the means to get your medicine, it's a daily struggle to eat well and keep good blood sugars. You toe the line between a normal life and a life completely flipped upside down. Struggling to maintain normalcy. My hopes in writing these blogs is to help spread awareness for the kind of daily lives that people like me lead. Whether that means someone with Diabetes reads this and knows they aren't along, or people without it read it and understand why health care policy is so important for the sick, I'll keep writing. I always will - if I'm stuck with this disease, I might as well be a mouthpiece for it, right?
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