Exquisite.

The Girl in the Body of a Dream

I don’t even know why I returned -

All this place has ever done is burn.

Passing lights and exit signs,

As time flies, I do wonder why?

Did I think it would be any different,

To count on nostalgia to erase all of those long-found memories…

And it just doesn’t feel the same;

It’s a place to which I no longer have a claim.

Stuck in between the right end of the middle,

Will I ever solve this riddle?

Will I end up like the rest…

Without a place to rest my head.

Because I can’t bring myself to call it home,

And right now I’m feeling more and more alone.

All the months that I’ve been gone

And now I wake up alone each dawn.

And still I question myself,

All of the choices I’ve made.

Was it right for me to go

Or was it wrong for me to stay?

And it just doesn’t feel the same;

It’s a place to which I no longer have a claim.

Stuck in between the right end of the middle,

Will I ever solve this riddle?

Regrets, memories, the best of times -

I cut my ties to this old place.

And coming back,

I feel long gone,

It feels all wrong.

Bittersweet, sour on my tongue

Perhaps I feel wrong because I’m so young.

But, no – I’m far beyond my years.

Those tears were growing tears

And I, I was caught in between

Lost for being never seen -

A girl in the body of a dream.

Hand-Written.

Trepidations

I am finding

That maybe leaving everything behind

…Is a little harder than I thought.

The days go by,

Growing shorter to longer,

But never long enough.

And as the clock ticks by,

So does all that I ever had left.

I pack my life away into boxes,

This one’s, “take.”, this one’s, “leave.”

Say goodbye but, “We’ll meet again.”

We both know that we will never meet again.

Isn’t it funny how I now feel so calm?

Truth be told, to be honest;

I am scared.

This is a cliff -

Higher than any I have ever jumped before.

What if I fall?

What if I never land?

But despite my trepidations, I find that

My biggest fear

Has turned out to be

Never jumping at all.

Most Treasured

You are the rain in the sky

The tear in my eye

The song that I sing

The feathers on my wing

You are the sigh to my breath

The life to my death

The love in my heart

The frame to my art

You are the words to my picture

The moral to my scripture

The memories in my mind

My one of a kind

You are the words to my poem

The marrow to my bone

I will never be alone

Because you are my own.

[Forgotten Language]

Today is October 18th, 2010.

There will never be another October 18th, 2010.

That's pretty weighty, isn't it?

So go out an do something special with today, and make it count, because you'll never get today back.

Forgotten Language by Shel Silverstein

Once I spoke the language of the flowers,
Once I understood each word the caterpillar said,
Once I smiled in secret at the gossip of the starlings,
And shared a conversation with the housefly
in my bed.
Once I heard and answered all the questions
of the crickets,
And joined the crying of each falling dying
flake of snow,
Once I spoke the language of the flowers. . . .
How did it go?
How did it go?

Felling leaves on falling trees

These Autumn Days

Fall brings onslaughts
of daydreams back to this time-- last year's this time,
Soft remnants of distant memories I keep ever-close,
cherished like the most valuable treasure

Pausing to find a quiet moment to reflect
I think back to the days that happened so seemingly long ago
A world away
Hardly stirring, I hardly stir...
Daring not even to breathe; I find that I am not;
As if even the slightest breath would muddy the memories
So as to not be as exact and whole
As my mind has preserved them
Like stirring the silt at the bottom of the pond
Clouding up the water

No, these memories are left perfect; untouched;
Thought about in these quiet moments of fall
Bidding the time until I once again see you
Like I did last year.

---

you being in love... (XII) by E. E. Cummings
you being in love
will tell who softly asks in love,

am i separated from your body smile brain hands merely
to become the jumping puppets of a dream? oh i mean:
entirely having in my careful how
careful arms created this at length
inexcusable, this inexplicable pleasure-you go from several
persons: believe me that strangers arrive
when i have kissed you into a memory
slowly, oh seriously
-that since and if you disappear

solemnly
myselves
ask "life, the question how do i drink dream smile

and how do i prefer this face to another and
why do i weep eat sleep-what does the whole intend"
they wonder. oh and they cry "to be, being, that i am alive
this absurd fraction in its lowest terms
with everything cancelled
but shadows
-what does it all come down to? love? Love
if you like and i like,for the reason that i
hate people and lean out of this window is love,love
and the reason that i laugh and breathe is oh love and the reason
that i do not fall into this street is love."

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You by Pablo Neruda

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.