Clowning Around

Hi there, I'm becoming a masochist. Because now I seem to think that Blood Glucose testing is fun.

It doesn't help when your meter case just so happens to be really cute.

Observe: Meter Case. (I have about 5 cases and just as many meters and lancets. Thankyou, hospital, for ensuring that I have all the equipment I need in order to harm myself.)

If you are wondering why I appear to be dressed like a clown, well, it is because I am a clown. Now before you stop reading my blog forever, please, put your fears of clowns aside. I'm not going to bite you. I don't kill little children in their sleep at night. And hopefully I do not appear to be overly creepy or give off that tell-tale "stalker" vibe. (But I'll explain my job later. Back to hippie meter cases, and all the fun presents they contain inside).

Lancets (finger-pricky-thingies):

Death by lancet?

Seen below: Blood Glucose Meter. (Note: this picture was taking earlier in the day, when I was not dressed like a clown. I possess neither the ability to change the time of day according to whim nor have the willpower to change out of my clown outfit that fast.)

This meter shown here is my favorite - I received two brands, Accucheck and The One Touch Ultra 2, two of each. The one I am pictured holding is the One Touch Ultra 2. (Notice the friggin' PERFECT blood sugar. 83 BG. Boo-Yah!)

I prefer my One Touch because it's just so darn COOL. Unlike the Accucheck, it doesn't just check my blood sugar (because, seriously, how stone age would that be? A blood glucose meter that only checks blood sugar? What good is that for?)

I like it because I can write little notes after I test, like specifying "before" or "after" meals, and "feeling hypo", "too much food","too much exercise", etc. (The "too much food" note gets its fair share of use. Heh.)

It also can tell me my result average for before and after meals, and for all of my results. This thing has pretty much everything, including the kitchen sink. So much so that sometimes I like to play with it just for fun. Or I'll get bored and feel like testing my blood sugar, as if pricking myself with a lancet and testing my blood was the kind of thing that every child wants to do with their spare time.

When I get around to it, I'd even like to write a letter to the meter companies with more suggestions on how they could make their product bigger and better (so to speak). It would go something like this:

Good Day, Meter Company! I am in possession of one of your meters and would like to make just a few suggestions. Firstly, you should add some games to your meter. Blood Sugar testing would be so much more fun if you could play Tetrus, Solitaire, and that annoyingly addictive air traffic controller game all while enjoying the comforts of playing scientist trans-blood testing at home. I think I would check my blood sugar about 50+ times a day. Second, I think that you should make your meters "smart meters". Right now they are kind of dumb I'm afraid. By "smart" I mean that after doing a test, you should get feedback from your meter based on your results. Quirky comments like, "Your blood sugar is over 200? Sheesh, lay off the cupcakes!", "I'm sorry, but your blood sugar is too low. Game over. You lose.", and, "Stop getting high, you pothead" are all perfectly acceptable.

In addition, I would greatly appreciate an attachable candy dispenser (err, only for in the case of low blood sugar, of course.) Those glucose tabs just aren't doin' it for me.

Yours sincerely,

Lacy Ball.

Moving the topic away from meters themselves, it's pretty crazy, being a diabetic and watching your blood sugar levels. You get the strangest results. Like, I'll test at 51 BG in the morning, and then be 301 before lunch for no apparent reason. What.the.hell? My blood sugars have THE WORST sense of humour ever. I swear they throw in those "45's" and "453's" just to screw with me. They'll tease me with good levels for a while and then all of a sudden, "BAM!" 400!, or, *PING* 42! If my blood sugars could talk, I'm pretty sure they'd have a lot of interesting things to say. Until then, I simply amuse myself daily by playing the "let's see what my blood sugar is after eating this" game.

And if test strips weren't so darn expensive (about $ 1.00 a test strip, or nearly $100 for a pack of 100!) I might do it a lot more often, finger pricking or no. But as it is, I'm testing about 4-5 times a day, and if you do the math, you see how quickly those pricey little test strips go. So, until Medicaid kicks in (it will only last until I turn 19, but that's a blog for a different day), I'll stick with tests before meals and before bed. I did indulge my eccentricities today and test after lunch, however, and it was only 117! (Now that's pretty good for a newly-diagnosed diabetic whose blood sugar is often all over the place.) With the exception of this weekend and eating WAY too much food than I should have, which wacked out my blood sugar for the next two days, my blood sugar has been - dare I say it? - behaving suspiciously well these past 2 weeks. According to my blood sugar average of 147, my A1C is roughly 6.74%, which is really good. (I attached a link for diabetic-illiterates, in case you don't know what A1C is.)

However, I'm not going to get too excited about these levels - when diabetics (Type 1, I don't know if this goes for Type 2 since their pancreas can still technically make insulin) are first diagnosed, once they start on insulin they enter a "Honeymoon Period". This can last anywhere from 2 months to a year, and during this time our pancreas is still making a little bit of insulin. So blood sugar is more behaved, you usually require less insulin, and A1C is often at fantastic levels. Unfortunately, I know the time will come when my poor little pancreas goes kaput for good, and then my A1C will probably skyrocket and make my daily diabetes struggle just a little bit harder.

But until then, I'm playing cheerleader, rooting my dysfunctional little pancreas on;

And "clowning around."

Literally.