Somehow, I blinked and it's been three years since I've last written on my blog. The old adage "time flies" becomes more and more true as you age. I still feel like I'm in my 20's, and yet it also feels like my 20's passed incredibly quickly.
I can't believe how much has changed in three years. Back then, I was still trying to figure so many things out. I never could have guessed I'd be in law school as I write this now.
I want to make a point to blog more this year because I really treasure the writings I have from my (old) college days. I'll come across writings of little things I'd forgotten about and I enjoy being able to reminisce about them. Also, I figured I should write an update because the last time I wrote, law school wasn't even a thought in my head, so as you can imagine, things are very different for me now.
That's actually not entirely true, about having not thought about law school back then. A few years ago, I was feeling really tired of my job. Work was stressful, and it felt like it was never ending. Sure, I'd achieved some success. I made a good living. I couldn't really complain--and yet, I just felt like I wasn't doing what I was meant to be doing.
That feeling that I wasn't living up to my true potential was really the true source of my stress. That feeling of frustration I had--feeling "stuck" in a career that was difficult to move out of, feeling like I'd wasted my youth on a career I wasn't finding satisfying, feeling despondent that I could never change it--I could go on. I literally risked my life to become a PT, rationing insulin, and for what? For the experience to change me so deeply that I didn't even want to do what I'd studied so hard to do? I couldn't understand why I couldn't just be satisfied. It really tormented me. But what would I even do if I left physical therapy? I'd thought of med school, but I just didn't want to put myself through that much school, and I wasn't sure I'd find much more satisfaction working in the same healthcare system I found broken. Maybe I'd continue on in medical sales--I was good at it, but I didn't love it, not really. I was in yoga one day and got to thinking about law, or mediation. I felt a sense of peace and excitement thinking about this idea, one that I hadn't felt in a long time. I went home and downloaded some LSAT study apps, tried studying for a bit, and then promptly forgot about them, telling myself there was no way I could take the LSAT, that I was just wishfully dreaming.
Then, a few years later, I posted on Facebook asking if any Type 1 Diabetics wanted to meet up and be friends. I have a wonderful community of online "Diabuddies", but felt lonely sometimes without knowing anyone in person who struggled with the same day to day difficulties that I did. A girl named Evan responded and messaged me right away. I completely ignored everyone else that responded and made plans to meet Evan. That first evening, I was telling Evan a bit about my dissatisfaction in my career and how I knew I wanted to make a shift, maybe something politics related, but I just wasn't sure what yet. Evan started telling me about her dad's work and how she had planned to be a lawyer at one point. As she was describing her dad's work and the LSAT, suddenly, I felt things shift into place for me. I went home and literally purchased an LSAT study book that night.
I suppose the rest is history. I actually did manage to study for the LSAT, and I did really well. My brain hadn't rotted after years out of school. I got into the Georgia law schools I'd applied to. Something just felt right about GSU--I couldn't stop picturing the next few years of my life there. Ultimately, that's where I chose, and ever since I began, I've felt so sure that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. Law school is hard--maybe harder than I thought it would be. I suppose I thought it might be "easy" with a doctorate under my belt already, and true, I'm used to the grind and the level of work required of me to succeed. It is unrelenting, just like PT school, so I feel better off for having expected that. I am even busier than I was in PT school. I definitely feel like I'm having to study more. But I'm loving every second. Contract law, civil procedure, torts, property, legislation and regulation--I love it all. The topics are fascinating. I love reading cases, and I even enjoy the in-class discussions and, yes, even the cold calls can be fun. For so long, I felt as though I would never feel like I found the place I belonged in life. I was living a good life, but it still didn't feel like the life I wanted to be living. I think now I'm the closest to feeling like this is the life I'm supposed to be living. I'm really grateful for that. I love the way lawyers are taught to think, and I love the conversations I have with fellow classmates on this journey with me. The "quirks" about me that I always felt like put me out of place in my old career feel like assets in law school. Speaking up--being bold--questioning everything--even thinking too much about politics. Discussing why and how things in the healthcare world were happening and ruminating on how we should change things. All of it seems to have a place in law school.
In short, I'm really grateful life has brought me here to this moment. I feel so much peace and true happiness, and whatever the future holds, it feels really bright. I don't know exactly what I'm doing in law yet. I know I like health law, and that's about it. But something tells me I'll figure that out in time, too. Right now, I'm just enjoying the journey, one day at a time.
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